Did Jesus Die Because God Was Pissed And Couldn’t Forgive Us?

by Mike Edwards 

It can be confusing or turn others away from God by the way we talk about the Cross. A death doesn’t magically heal the pain we have caused God or others. The most healing we can hope for is when there is confession and forgiveness. A partner can never undo their betrayal, but taking responsibility and not blaming others can be a start toward healing. Many growing up in church may not have a problem with the idea of a child being sacrificed to appease God – neither did the OT gods – but an outsider using common moral sense has to wonder why a God who truly loves requires this. Does the Bible really teach God requires blood before forgiving?

Requiring a debt be paid isn’t really forgiveness.

If you owe a monetary debt and you are required to pay it off, how is that forgiveness of a debt? God can’t both forgive a debt and require repayment. Demanding the blood of an innocent party doesn’t legally resolve another person’s guilt.  My going to jail for a friend’s wrongdoing doesn’t somehow clear my friend of their crime. Guilt is not somehow magically removed by someone else’s confession of a sin they didn’t commit.

We may need to rewrite John 3:16 if Penal Substitution is true.

“For God was so filled with wrath against the world, that he sent his only begotten son to take the beating that we all deserved. That if anyone would want to escape eternal suffering, and would raise their hand and repeat this prayer after me, they would escape this horrible wrath. For the son was not sent into the world to change our minds about God, but to change God’s mind about us. So now that Jesus has taken the punishment for us, God can now finally love us, and forgive us.”  https://www.patheos.com/blogs/keithgiles/2018/11/for-god-so-hated-the-world/

Jesus and the Bible sometimes contradict the necessity of blood to forgive our sins.

Jesus forgave the paralyzed man before His death (Mt. 9: 6-9). Jesus sure seemed to accept supposedly evil people in society before His blood was spilt on the Cross. Why does the Bible talk so much about the Cross defeating evil, rather than the Cross defeated evil so God could forgive us (Gal. 1:4, I Jn. 3:8, etc.)? Jesus seemed on a mission to help us battle ongoing evil, not to pay for a once-for-all crime.

If blood was necessary for God to forgive, why did even OT writers over time begin to write that God doesn’t like animal sacrifices but contrite hearts (Ps. 51:16-17, i.e. Jer. 7:22, Amos 5:21, Micah 6:6). In the OT sacrifices were for unknown sins while known sins were punished not forgiven. Even in the NT God is said to not desire or be pleased with sacrifice and offerings though offered in accordance with the law (Heb. 10:8). These passages contradict passages that supposedly teach God required Jesus’ death to forgive us.

But, don’t Bible verses also say Jesus died for our sins?

Many passages insinuate that Jesus died for us because of our sins (I Pe. 3:18, Rom. 5:8, I John 3:16, etc.). They don’t say Jesus died for God’s sake. Jesus could have died because of our sins rather than for our sins. Jesus’ death actually proves violence doesn’t solve differences. Jesus’ message was acceptance and forgiveness lead to healing. If the Bible was crystal clear the purpose of Jesus’ death, why do so many theories exist as to why Jesus died?

Why did Jesus die? 

It is okay to speculate why Jesus was willing to die on the Cross. Biblical scholars haven’t figured it out. Jesus jumping off the Cross or overpowering His enemies was expected or hoped for but we would have learned nothing. We may still be talking about Jesus’ message of radical love as the best path for reconciliation, because He was willing to die rather than power over others. Jesus’ desire to inspire unselfish living empowered by our Creator is what really changes the world.  Jesus’ death rather than His power has inspired billions to live unselfishly.

Jesus’ death can enable us to not feel overwhelmed by guilt and truly loved by God. Terrorists blow others up for a message they feel strongly about. Jesus only blew Himself up for a message He believed very strongly in. Soldiers often sacrifice their lives because they are convinced certain freedom are that important. Jesus died in hopes we may understand true freedom is found by understanding what God is really like.

God forgives if we seek God’s forgiveness – no strings attached!

God is dying to forgive you of wrong doing in hopes to inspire you to change for your interests and the interests of others. God’s love and mercy, not God’s need for punishment, is our necessary nourishment in being the person we desire to be. That doesn’t get you a free out- of-jail card for a serious crime. That doesn’t mean when forgiving a friend that has betrayed you, that you have to pretend the relationship is back to the way it was. It takes two to tango. Unfortunately, most of us don’t seek forgiveness from humans or feel a perfect Creator accepts us and could simply forgive us for sins we have a hard time forgiving ourselves for.

A Nicer Person

by Rocky Glenn

In several discussions over the last week, the idea of being a nicer person since leaving religion behind has resurfaced. Although I fully intended to continue the Churchboy Soundtrackseries this week, I can’t ignore what I believe to be the prompting of the Holy Spirit to repost this post from last September. My life as a churchboy was truly a life filled with gritted teeth, clenched fists, red-faced anger fueled by feelings of never being good enough. I cannot thank Jesus enough for setting me free from those lies and revealing to me the real love of the Father.

I pray today you live a life knowing how loved you truly are.

A Secret No Longer  (originally published September 3, 2018)

Although I have never been much of a comic book reader, from an early age I have had an affinity for the Incredible Hulk.  I suppose the credit for this would belong to the TV series that aired during my younger years starring Bill Bixby as Dr. Banner and Lou Ferrigno as his rage-fueled alter ego green monster.   I can remember the incredibly durable stretch Hulk action figure I carried with me and destroyed for much of my childhood as well.  With the most recent incarnations of the Hulk coming from the Marvel Cinematic Universe over the last ten years, my love for the big green guy has resurfaced and he is undoubtedly my favorite character of all created within the superhero realm.  In 2012, after six solo films introducing the world to several characters, we finally got to see all our heroes unite on one screen as Marvel released the first Avengers film.  It is in this film as the Avengers prepare for the final battle Dr. Banner utters not only one of his most famous lines of the entire filmography, but arguably one of the most famous lines of any character throughout the twenty film universe as his transformation to big, mean, green and ugly takes place, “That’s my secret, Cap.  I’m always angry.”

Something about the nature of a man who loses all sense of control and becomes a different creature when angered and provoked has proved rather appealing to me throughout my life and at times I have found myself to have more in common with the normally mild mannered Dr. Banner than I would care to admit.  Throughout the television series and film universe, Dr. Banner takes many precautions and makes effort to avoid anger and being provoked.  Bill Bixby’s oft quoted line from the late seventies/early eighties series is simply, “Don’t make me angry.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”  We sense in both depictions of the gnarly green giant as the Big Guy begins to calm and Dr. Banner reappears that he is filled with both shame and remorse for the actions that are seemingly beyond his control.

My life as a churchboy mirrored the life of Dr. Banner.  Just as he shared his secret of always being angry with Captain America as they set off into battle, I “shared” my secret with those closest to me.  Only my sharing was done behind closed doors with yelling while red-faced and normally with tight-clenched fists and cursing.  I was not an easy man to live with but I could never let anyone know that and destroy my churchboy facade.  I was always angry.  It didn’t have to be anything in particular that made me that way, but 99.9% of the time it was simply because things were happening that I either disapproved of, did not want to be involved, did not think should happen, or things weren’t happening in the way I wanted quick enough.  Churchboys are convinced there is a correct way to do everything and everything must be done in the correct way.  When things aren’t done in that manner, anger erupts (in private, of course!) and there is collateral damage all around.

The only flaw with Dr. Banner’s secret is the same flaw I had . . . it’s not really a secret, at least not as much as I thought.  His reputation for angry, raging transformation pales in comparison to the disapproving, unhappy, frustrated, and controlling person this churchboy was.  As much as it pains me to admit and remember, I was a miserable person because I was always unhappy, I was always angry, and it was more obvious than I realized.  My life at that time can be described from the opening words of Christ in Matthew 11:28 from The Message: I was tired, worn out, and burned out on religion.

I am so glad that Eugene Peterson did not stop there when he was writing The Message.  He went on to expound on the words of Christ as follows in the verses 28-30:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Churchboys know nothing about living life in an unforced manner freely and lightly.  They burden themselves with ill-fitting, heavy lists of do’s and don’ts to ensure they keep their image of holiness and godliness intact and making sure their secrets remain just that.  Life without those rules and lists has proven both free and light.  In fact, as I shared in What Is A Churchboy?, I’ve learned I’ve become I’m a nicer person and not near as angry without them.

Living life in this manner is a secret I refuse to keep.

Why Didn’t I Know Sooner

by Rocky Glenn

When Jim Gordon invited Mike Edwards and I to join him as coauthors at Done With Religion, I don’t think any of us anticipated the bond and brotherhood that lie ahead of us.  The three of us have spent the last six months getting to know each other discussing what we believe and why we believe it as well as what we used to believe and why we believed it at the time.  The conversation below is an excerpt of one of those discussions as we speculate why it took so long to arrive at our current beliefs if we truly believe we have become more Christlike as we grow more open-minded and less dogmatic.  Our hopes in sharing this discussion is to encourage those who may be wondering the same and perhaps feeling the same regrets expressed.

Mike:  We believe the way we do now. But we use to believe another way a while back.

I know there aren’t answers but how do we explain to ourselves and others if asked – why doesn’t God show us the light sooner. I know I am assuming we are more enlightened now than years ago. I am assuming it is more Christlike, unless clearly moral like bullying, to come off open-minded than dogmatic.

I think so many more may be open to God if there was so much less dogmatism. I know God isn’t controlling but so many well-meaning leaders and laypeople seem misguided (or perhaps we are the ones wrong) and all of us are simply trying to be faithful to God. I truly think so many are intending to be faithful to God. I dread to think how I would have responded 30 years ago if social media was around.

I’m not convinced it’s because some of us are more moral than others. If we are more enlightened, why weren’t we more enlightened years ago? I must admit watching all this on Facebook, etc. is discouraging, especially when it is Christians. So many of them seem hopeless.

Rocky:  I think your thoughts capture what is possibly my greatest regret . . . the amount of time and number of years I spent not only misbelieving but also misteaching others.  To me the best analogy would be Jesus’s parable of the tares and wheat.  If you remove the tares before it’s time you will remove the wheat also.  Although as we first come out of it our tendency is to discard anything and everything related to what we are leaving behind. The further I am away from it the more I realize there are some foundational truths planted there that remain.

Jim:  As far as why God doesn’t show us the light sooner, I surely do not have the total answer. I do believe it is the timing thing. I think God teaches us and brings us to new understanding only as we are ready for it. I feel there is a reason for the things we go through and I am thankful for the time in the church system. I guess I would not have known the difference if I had not been a part.

So many people in church today are there because they truly believe that is the right way and they truly love God. I know the many years I was a part of it I felt I was doing what God wanted and was learning about him. Really, that system is all we know. That is what we were brought up in and felt was what God intended.

I am thankful that the Spirit lives within us and does not give up on us. I know I had questions over the years but was afraid to ask or just figured there was a reasonable answer that was more than I could understand.

Fortunately, in time those questions and many more came up again and I started thinking and debating with myself about them. It still took years of this plus feeling so unsatisfied at church that caused us to come to the point of leaving. It is all a timing thing.

One thing the three of us are certain of is we are likely not alone in our questioning.  If this is a conversation you find yourself identifying with, we welcome your feedback and would love to hear from you.  What are your thoughts and experiences as you’ve walked out the journey of your faith?

What Do Christians Want To Avoid Having in Common With Terrorists?

by Mike Edwards

It is difficult for many to be drawn to a God that has anything in common with the God of terrorists. I am not saying Christians believe in resorting to beheading unbelievers. It is sensible though for all God-followers to consider any of their portrayals of God that look anything similar to terroristic views. A good God couldn’t possibly have anything in common with such views.

We must avoid all appearances that a good God is solely determined by a Book.

The idea of an infallible Book seems to shut down questioning and common moral sense. An infallible Book would not be so dangerous if extremists acknowledged literature is subject to interpretation, thus their interpretation cannot be proclaimed as “certainty” in God’s name. We must always openly admit our interpretation could be wrong, thus allowing personal views to be challenged.

Let’s avoid suggesting a loving God would deny freedom of beliefs.

One would think a God who is powerful enough to create, unless a respecter of freedom of beliefs, would annihilate immediately those who choose evil and oppose God. God’s love in the Bible is most frequently compared to that of a human parent. No human or spiritual parent brings children into the world desiring their children not freely reciprocate their love as opposed to being forced. Forced love is an oxymoron. A good God couldn’t possibly want to control beliefs through fear.

Let’s avoid suggesting a loving God tortures unbelievers before or after death. 

Delayed torture is still torture in the eyes of many. We mustn’t claim Hell is real according to the Bible because biblical scholars don’t agree Hell exists in the Bible. Most humans wouldn’t even create such a place for their worst enemies! The word hell is a substitution not translation for certain Hebrew and Greek words and seems invented over the centuries to scare people into obedience. It is important to defend God respects the right to choose your own personal beliefs in this life, and God does not torture people after death for such decisions. 

Let’s avoid claiming a loving God’s view of women hints of inequality.  

I am not suggesting some Christians are saying Paradise is a lustful adventure for men at the expense of women, but it is important to not be dogmatic that the Bible teaches women are under the authority of men in the God of the Bible eyes. This can encourage dominance on the man’s part. Women and men surely need unselfish partners who have the heart of a servant. Some religious extremists would rather be dead than advocate for that. We must avoid proscribing gender roles which more frequently are used to oppress women than men.

What can Christians be certain of about God?

All religions must differentiate themselves from terrorist or extremist views to avoid misunderstandings about a God worthy of trust. Jesus simply wanted us to know God was the kind of Creator or Parent desiring a friendship to encourage a journey of shunning evil and doing good. Our views must encourage loving others like we want to be love. Accepting the freedom of beliefs, if not physically harmful to others, is foundational. A good God surely respect freedom of beliefs in this life and life to come and encourages roles according to one’s gifts not gender or race.

God Our Father

by Rocky Glenn

I was raised with a father and mother who loved my sister and me and were not shy about letting us know it.  Does this mean they were perfect and didn’t mess up?  They would each be the first to admit that’s not true, but as I get older and learn more and more about being a parent myself I can look back and see many instances of their love shining through.  As a boy, I struggled immensely with fear to the point of hating nighttime and going to sleep because my mind would simply not turn off and I would lie in bed traumatized by the nightmarish images running rampant through my head.  It was not uncommon for me to lay in bed and scream to the point of echoing through the house.  To overcome these fears, my mother taught me, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.”  For a brief period of life, I lived alone with my dad.  We spent many days after school throwing frisbee in the front yard, flipping a paper football across the dining room table we had lined with masking tape for yard lines, or leaving the television screen turned on to prove to the other their previous high score playing Donkey Kong had been broken.  I never realized until becoming a parent myself how tired mom must have been dealing with a scared kid night after night each night hoping maybe tonight would be the night he finally rests or how many other things dad could have been doing instead of spending time with me.  I have been blessed by two wonderful people to call mom and dad.

Over the past week, through the writings of Anabel Gillham I have been reminded of the fatherhood of God.  Prior to 2016, I was unaware of Anabel, but during that year I discovered a collection of writings from her and her husband organized into the Lifetime Daily Devotions reading plan in the YouVersion bible app.  It’s a year long plan, so I followed the plan daily in 2017 and have since restarted the plan for 2019.  Several of the writings for the year thus far have discussed the nature of God as a father, and recently I shared Anabel’s words below on social media along with the accompanying image:

Do you know what Abba means? It’s the Greek word for “Father.” It “approximates to a personal name,” kind of like “Papa.” It is “the word framed by the lips of infants” and by older children “expressing [their] love and intelligent confidence” in their father.* Jesus came, talking to God and about God. But He didn’t call Him Jehovah. Or Elohim. Or Adonai. Or El Shaddai. Or any other of the names that the people called God. No, Jesus came and called Him Abba, Papa, Daddy, Father.

In the book of Matthew, Jesus addresses God 43 times as Father. He took an awesome God, a fearful God, an unapproachable God, a God who was known to strike out when He was not obeyed, the God of the Old Testament . . . and He introduced us to a loving Father.

God is a loving Father and that’s what Jesus came to show us.  He reminds us of this on multiple occasions by addressing him as such.  To further emphasize this, he plainly tells us that us in Mark 10:15, “I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”  To understand what Jesus was saying, we must clarify the phrase “like a child.”  Here’s how Anabel describes it:

With no reservations, no preconceived fears or doubts.

“Looking up” to Him — from a child’s perspective. He is big and I am little. He is strong. I am weak. He will hold me in His arms. He will hold my hand. He will know what to do. . .

Ready to listen and to ask questions, but not to express her views or to argue with Him about His views. Giving Him the responsibility of caring for her. Indeed, expecting Him to care for her. Trusting Him to care for her. Reaching out to touch Him. Holding His hand for security and comfort. Resting in His lap. Putting her arms around His neck.  Being excited to see Him and be with Him. Knowing that He is wiser than she is. Knowing that He is stronger than she is.

Although I was raised by two parents who loved me, I realize the images presented above may be difficult to visualize for those whose father (or mother) was absent in their life or who may have grew up in an abusive situation.  Given the circumstances of such situations, I’ve often wondered why God chose the parent-child relationship to illustrate his love for us and our relationship.  The one thing no one will ever have the power to change is his or her mother or father.  Many children’s lives have been changed through the power of adoption or the way a step parent or foster parent may have stepped up and filled in for another’s absence and actually became a mom or dad, but, despite the manner we experience parental relationships, nothing will ever change the identity of our biological parents.  I will always be the son of my father and my mother no matter who I would have called mom or dad.  There is nothing my son or daughter could ever do to not be mine and cause me to not love them.  I believe this unchangeable nature of the fatherhood relationship is what God is wanting us to grasp onto and it’s why Jesus came.

Jesus illustrated the father’s never ending love in the story of the prodigal son who asked for his inheritance prior to his father’s death, squandered the inheritance given to him, and returned home with his head buried in shame prepared to beg for a job as a servant only to have his father welcome him home with open arms and celebrate by throwing a feast.  Although the returning son was fully prepared to forfeit his place in the family and anticipated having to do so, the loving response and welcome of the father assured him he would always be a son. The tragic part of the story lies in the reaction of the older brother who never left home, worked for his father for years, and out of anger refused to attend the party for his returning sibling claiming his father had never thrown such a shindig for him.  I can only imagine the pain which pierced the father’s heart and sobering look on his face as he explained to his eldest son you have always been with me and all I have has always been yours.

Life as a churchboy is the life of the prodigal’s older brother.  The words of Anabel are applicable to such a life:

How we have structured and formalized (and, in so doing, ostracized) the Father that Jesus wanted us to know! For our conversation with Him to be “pleasing,” we have been told we must “look just right,” assume just the right posture, be in the right place at the right time, say just the right things, use the prerequisite Thee’s and Thou’s — and that only then will He really consider honoring our prayers.

Catching glimpses of God as a loving father who would never stop loving me or deny me as his son and realizing he had already provided all he has through Jesus is what was ultimately the beginning of the end of my life as a churchboy.

Why Might One Condemn Gays Out Of Devotion To God?

by Mike Edwards

I recently wrote here why a fair-minded person may think God approves of women being restricted from roles men are offered. Many opposed such equity because of bigotry but bigots don’t read spiritual blogs. It is so important how God-followers represent God.  The good news is what is often said about God may not be true. There may be similarities as to why fair-minded people think God favors roles according to one’s gender and why God condemn gays.

Many people of faith only condemn gays because they think the Bible does?  

Many of us were taught to believe God condemns gays because the Bible says so.  Some may be unaware biblical scholars who respect the Bible believe Scriptures do not condemn gay monogamous relationships. See  here. The bigger argument though is that no one can claim God condemns gays because the Bible says so. Literature require interpretations and we disagree. One main reason fair-minded people condemn gays is because of a misunderstanding of the Bible, thus misguided devotion to God.   

Some may also argue God condemns gays because homosexuality just isn’t natural.

You don’t have to be gay to understand one can no more control their feelings toward those of the same sex than you can control having feelings toward the opposite sex. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel natural to you. You aren’t gay. Let’s don’t cause others to keep secrets at the expense of their mental health. God-followers must always use their hearts and minds when loving others by being non-judgmental and putting themselves in another’s skin.

It is argued the world could not have populated in the beginning! We are no longer in that situation and the world will continue to populate because not all couples are gay. We have unwanted children who need loving couples. Is adoption by a same sex or different sex couple not a better situation than groups homes or orphanages? Many gay couples are far better parents than many opposite sex parents. Don’t worry! Loving couples don’t try to scare a child straight or gay.

How can we know what God thinks about gays?   

If God exists even atheists agree God must be morally perfect. The best way to understand God’s moral perfection is through our thoughts of human perfection. How we think we ought to treat gays is how to know what God thinks of gays. The test for human or godly morality is if treating others like we want to be treated. Let’s not defend our position only because the Bible supposedly says so. We do not have to check our moral conscience at the door. Be guided by love – how should I treat others if I had the same non-choices. I hope one doesn’t think I approve of pedophiles for such love is not between two consenting adults. 

How must we treat gays or anyone?

Psychological harm is done when one must hide their sexuality because of bigotry and hostility. Monogamous relationships, as opposed to mindless, selfish, uncommitted relationships, are in our best interests, though I am not suggesting we all should impose our views of consensual, sexual behaviors on others. One’s sexual orientation is personal and between them and their Creator. Personal relationship decisions are not violating anyone’s personal rights as do immoral behaviors as stealing, murdering, etc.  I hope more may stop judging others about their personal relationships because God supposedly condemns them through Scriptures.

We are One with God

by Jim Gordon

It is hard accepting the fact that God lives within us. We have been taught that if we live our lives trying to follow the commandments and do good things, one day we will go to heaven and live with God face to face. We have an image of God sitting on a throne way up in heaven and here we are, far, far away down on earth.

We talk about going to a meeting and the Spirit showing up, or being at a specific place because God is there. We pray and talk with God, yet we wonder if our prayers are even getting to Him.

The more I read, I am finding that we really have the whole thing backwards.

The Old Covenant has been fulfilled in Christ and we are now living under a New Covenant. We no longer have to try to be good enough. The law was a tutor that led us to Christ, but now that Christ has come we no longer need a tutor. We are free from the law and the Spirit of God now lives within us.

Jesus came to live among us and show us the love of God. When Jesus left, he said he would send us the Spirit. God has now come to live within us. Jesus said the kingdom of God is within you. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit and we have the mind of Christ. Jesus prayed in John 17 that we would be one with God just as he and the Father are one.

Sounds to me that we are missing the main point. We do not have to wait to die to go to heaven and enjoy kingdom living. We do not have to wait to be united with the Father. We no longer need to look to a human guide, teacher or preacher. We have the living, powerful, perfect Word of God living inside us who is our teacher and guide.

There is nothing wrong with listening to others, getting their thoughts and ideas and being encouraged by other believers, but we do not need to rely on other humans. We have the Spirit within us, teaching us and guiding us in the way he has for us.

We do not have to look up in the sky to some far-away place and wonder if God is listening. We can turn our thoughts inward and realize the Spirit is right there within us, listening, loving us and ready to teach us as we begin to hear his voice from within.

We are all at different stages along the path we walk with him. We need to remember none of us have it all figured out. We so often want to fight and argue from the understanding we currently have without realizing that we have not reached completion. There is more the Spirit wants to teach us as we become ready to accept it.

We should come to accept each other where we are currently, realizing what we know and believe today will more likely be different a little further down the road. We can love each other, learn from one another and accept each other as we are, just like Jesus loves and accepts us just as we are.

We should be looking deep within ourselves, listening for the voice and guidance of the Spirit. We should not put all hope in others and those we think are more spiritual because they have been trained, educated or paid to do so. Remember, we are all kings and priests and have the same Spirit within us. Each of us are equal and important parts of the body with Christ as the head. His Church is not a building, not a denomination but the people.

This is not saying we are God, but the Spirit lives within us and we are one with our Father. It would do us all good to start focusing on this fact rather than what we were taught that it is a future event after we die. Kingdom living is now. Listening to the Spirit, being taught by him and living day by day in communion with the Father is a reality that we all need to realize.

Why Would One Believe God Thinks Women Can’t Lead Like Men?

by Mike Edwards

I am not sure why any fair-minded person would think women can’t fulfill the same leadership roles as men in the spiritual or work realm unless believing God according to a Book requires this. Most would agree not allowing equal roles because of the color of your skin is immoral. I would suggest denying women equal roles is emotional abuse if they are gifted to lead. Does God really believe roles are best determined according to gender than gifts?

Can we determine God’s views according to some Book?

Men who believe roles should be determined according to gender than gifts aren’t all pigs. I used to believe this but my gut could never make sense why a good God would think this way. Many of us were taught to believe because the Bible says so. In many countries a Book is used to suggest God condones women not having the same rights as men to vote, drive, or dress how they want.

I don’t wish to argue though what the Bible says. Some may be unaware the Bible can be interpreted to endorse roles according to gifts not gender. See here.  I don’t wish to argue if the biblical writers came to a better understanding of God over time. I only wish to point out that the Bible or any literature requires interpretation, thus why so many disagree over the meaning of the same passages. No one can claim certainty because the Bible says so. 

How can we know what God thinks about women and roles?  

Saying “I love you” is nonsensical if we don’t have some ideas what “to love” means. Most believe One who claims to be God must be morally perfect. The best way we have to think what a perfect God is like is to discuss what human perfection is. Godly and human perfection surely are one and the same. If we know how we ought to love and treat women, we intuitively know how God ought to love and treat women.

The test for human or godly morality is if treating others like we want to be treated. Terrorists proclaim morality according to a Book but something is amiss – they would object to being beheaded, raped, or denied their freedom of beliefs. Men, we must treat women how we wish to be treated when opportunities arise to lead a church, business, etc. At least let’s not defend our position only because the Bible says so. We do not have to check our moral conscience at the door.

What if moral intuitions clash?

There is universal agreement on most moral matters such as murdering or stealing. We may not agree what a perfect parent or God would do in each situation, but we could agree on many attributes. Keep in mind even if believing the Bible in infallible, interpretations are not infallible. Read the Bible with a questioning spirit while putting ourselves in another’s shoes. Uncertainty, rather than supposed certainty, forces us to be more open-minded. 

The most qualified or gifted should surely be the CEO or preach!

I am going to stand on the side that is potentially less abusive to half of God’s creations concerning roles. Similarly, in marriage equalitarian rather than hierarchical relationships are less likely to lead to the mistreatment of women. Do we really want to imply that God doesn’t trust women to handle the Truth? Different opinions, expressed without hostility, surely help lead us to the most loving stance.

Being Accepting

by Jim Gordon

When it comes to accepting others most of us Christian people are quick to say yes, we are accepting. But we find many times we are accepting of only those who believe the same way we do.

If someone comes from a different faith, no faith or different way of life, we would rather argue with them and defend our way of thinking trying to prove they are wrong or unworthy.

When looking at the way Jesus lived, we see a life of loving others and accepting those who the religious crowd did not like. He was kind, loving, forgiving and caring to all he came in contact. It seemed his main conflicts came from the religious self-righteous leaders.

Jesus walked with the prostitutes, the demon possessed, the heathen, tax collectors and people who the religious crowd felt they should stay away from. Today we seem to think we have to stay away from those who are different or doing things we disapprove of to prove how righteous we are.  Yet we never see Jesus doing such things. He enjoyed spending time with people from all walks of life. He got in trouble with the religious people of his day for living this way, and we find this still happens today when we accept people just the way they are.

Fact is, each and every one of us could have a label or something that someone else would think is wrong. Rather than being judgmental and pointing out to others what we think is wrong, we should seek what God has for us and then show the love of God to everyone we meet. After all, we are not called to point out the sins of others and say what is and what is not sin. We are called to love God and love one another.

Jesus never said to separate from people. He said to go into all the world and preach the gospel. We do this by living a life of love, acceptance and allowing the love of God to touch people right where they are.

It seems to me rather than fight and argue over doctrine, interpretation and belief we would do better to love, accept and show compassion. This certainly does not mean we have to agree with everyone but we do not have to fight and defend our way of thinking.

Many of us think we have it all figured out and our way of faith is the only way. We think we have to persuade others to come to our way of thinking or they are doomed to hell. As we grow in the Spirit over time, we come to realize we were wrong many times in interpretation or belief, so why should we be telling others what is right and wrong and how they should believe? This should be something between the individual and the Spirit within.

I am not sure any of us have it all figured out, in fact I know none of us do. We all have room to question, learn and change. I know my wife and I are doing more questioning than we ever did and we are finding new truths as we walk daily in the Spirit.

When it comes down to it, we should be open to accept others no matter what their way of thinking. People want to be loved and accepted, they want to be happy and get along with others. When we get all religious and defend our point of view it does more harm and drives people apart more than anything.

My wife and I have been asking God for strength to accept and love everyone. No matter what they believe, what their faith or doctrine is, no matter their religion, nationality, sexual preference or color we want to see them as Jesus sees them. This is a type of love we cannot do on our own. It is only possible by the love of God within us. We want to love, accept and care for people. Naturally we will not always agree, but we want to look past those areas and love them in Christ.

We feel this is the way that others will come to see the love of God, not through condemning and bashing them. Not in trying to prove we are right and they are wrong, not trying to change them or trick them into coming to our way of thinking.

Love does not mean seeing eye-to-eye, it does not mean we agree or always like some of the things people do, but it does mean we look past the differences and love them as Christ loves them. We see them as human beings equally deserving of love, respect and acceptance.

Let’s try to look past the labels and see people who have feelings, who want love and friendship, people we can get to know, learn from, share thoughts and ideas and accept as human beings who were created in the image of God.

Acceptance does not mean total agreement. It is showing love to people, respecting them and accepting them for who they are without an ulterior motive of trying to change them.

Churchboy Soundtrack: The God That Failed

by Rocky Glenn

I’ve shared previously growing up a churchboy for me meant nearly my entire musical education and consumption came from bands labeled Christian.  These were bands whose albums were recorded on Christian record labels, marketed to Christians, and sold nearly exclusively in Christian bookstores.  I was not totally ignorant of what was considered hit songs or popular bands, but my knowledge mostly existed only of the radio hits I would hear in public places.  I say mostly because there was also another source of information where I gained knowledge of popular music.  It was common for youth groups I was part of to attend, either in person or through recorded audio or video, seminars on the evils of rock and roll.  During these seminars, bands were scrutinized for their band names, stage acts, lyrical content, and the hidden messages found in their songs if they were played backwards.  I learned during these seminars to not only to stay away from these bands and the evils they portrayed but also honed my judgmental skills for distinguishing good from bad and determining if something was holy or profane based on how it looked or presented itself.  These tendencies stayed with me throughout my life into adulthood and even parenthood.

Part of being a parent is wanting the best for your child and protecting them from harmful and damaging influences.  To accomplish this in our home, our kids were given the same musical education I forced upon myself growing up . . . nearly exclusively Christian music.  The only exceptions to this came through movie soundtracks, singing competitions on television, or music driven video games.  About three years ago, my teenage son began listening to a band I was not too happy about.  It was a band I was certain was evil although I was truly familiar with only one of their songs.  When I first learned what he was listening to, I did what any good father would do.  I expressed my displeasure and asked him to stop.  Of course, this simply caused him to do so in secret and his love for them grew.  As he grew more fond of their music, it was more difficult to keep it hidden and he started talking to me about it and even started playing an occasional track for me to see how I would react.  His love for the band reached the point that for his sixteenth birthday, we received notice the band would be playing live during the next year within a day’s drive from home.  Knowing this could likely be a once in a lifetime opportunity, we secured tickets for the show for him and I to attend.  The only problem with attending the concert is I was still unfamiliar with all but one of their songs and, being that song is their biggest hit and likely to be the encore, it was going to be a long night if I didn’t learn their music.  Making the decision to learn more about the band and their music, and to ensure it would not be a long evening for me at the show, I asked Geoffrey to send me a chronological listing of their discography and in July of last year I went to work.  I have since consumed all ten studio recordings they’ve released as well as several other recordings.  This band is none other than the heavy metal icons Metallica.

The experience of exposing myself to their music has been eye opening but not in a way I expected.  I was certain as I began devouring the music I would be vindicated and justified in my decision to keep not only him but myself from the tunes growing up.  However, while there are certainly tracks filled with rage, hate, and anger and the use of profanity is not uncommon at times, what I began to realize as I listened were many of these tracks were simply four guys being honest about who they are, where they were, and what emotions they were feeling.  My voluntary exposure to their music began to be a spiritual parallel for how I had lived my life as a churchboy judging by appearance without taking the time to listen.

On their fifth album, lead singer James Hetfield channeled his anger over the death of his mother to pen a track titled The God That Failed.  The theme of the song is faith and human reliance on it, and of belief in a God that fails to heal. Hetfield’s mom died of cancer after refusing medical attention, solely relying on her belief in God to heal her due to her Christian Science beliefs.  My first listen to this track upset me.  I took it as blasphemy and mockery of the God I know and serve.  However, after several subsequent listens, I have come to not only to respect the honesty of the emotion expressed in the song but also to identify with it.

In penning these lyrics, James vocalized a sentiment common to man throughout existence and even displayed by many whose lives are depicted in the Bible.  Cain, when his offering was rejected, surely felt God failed him.  As a father, I cannot fathom all the emotions Abraham must have felt after being promised a son and then being asked to sacrifice that very son.  The many cries of David are written in the Psalms, even to the point of him crying out in Psalm 22, “Why have you forsaken me?”  The entire book of Job is all about a man who feels God has failed him.  The rich young ruler sorrowly walked away from Jesus after his boasting of keeping the entire law had been rejected.

When we encounter unexpected hardships in life, we often identify with the anguish shared by the band in these lyrics.  We feel as if God failed.  As my life as a churchboy began unraveling several years ago, I undeniably felt God had failed me.  I identified with these words from James:

Pride you took
Pride you feel
Pride that you felt when you’d kneel

Broken is the promise, betrayal
The healing hand held back by the deepened nail
Follow the god that failed

The life of churchboy is a life of outward pride combined with inner shame.  It’s a life of being proud of all you’re doing externally to make God happy and make yourself appear holy while hiding how miserable, hurt, and angry you are internally feeling as if whatever you do will never be enough.  When you begin to see how meaningless all the efforts to please God and appear holy are, you find yourself feeling betrayed and that the God you followed has failed.  However, the beautifully ironic truth is that God has not failed you, but you have actually lived on a hamster wheel attempting to accomplish something already accomplished for you and gifted to you through Jesus.

I never would have imagined finding God in a Metallica song, but I did.  To me, it’s not about the message James Hetfield conveys in The God That Failed but rather the emotions expressed and how honestly he expresses them.  The greatest fear a churchboy experiences is the fear of rejection from God and from others and, due to this, often feels being honest is the last thing he could ever be.

Am I claiming it a Christian song or Metallica a Christian band?  The answer to that really isn’t important and, for that matter, it’s not mine to decide.  All I can do is simply share what it means to me.  This recovering churchboy’s God didn’t fail me.  He simply opened my eyes to what He has already done.  The music of Metallica has provided a bond with my son I did not anticipate but am ever grateful for.  I could never consider that a failure.

As for Metallica, their musical catalog is now a part of my playlist and in a little over two months, this recovering churchboy will spend an awesome night together with his son.