by Michael Donahoe
In recent times, we seem to hear more about the religious dones. Different surveys talk about the nones, the dones and the religious unaffiliated. This means different things to different people.
I think many church people and Christian people think the same thing on this topic. If you are a religious none, you have left God. If you are a religious done and do not go to church, you have decided not to follow God and are in a backslidden state.
I do not believe that at all. Being done with religion to me means done with organized religion and institutional church, but not done with God. We are done with religion, but only because we want a more meaningful walk following the example of Jesus. So basically, we leave the organization to enhance our walk with God.
For about twenty years, I increasingly became more and more disillusioned with church. I sat there week after week thinking there has to be more, God certainly did not intend that following him meant nothing more than looking at the back of the head of the person in front of me. We sit for an hour listening to a few other people do all the singing and preaching, then get up and go home for the week.
I felt that the church emphasized more that we listen to the pastor and follow the Bible rather than learn how to listen to and follow the Spirit that was within us. I realized that we no longer needed a middle man because we are the temple of the Holy Spirit and we find the Kingdom of God within us.
I remember how afraid I was to ask questions because people would think I was losing my faith. I was tired of hearing exclusive teaching and discrimination by telling us how bad certain people were and that we needed to stay away from them. The only exception was if we used every opportunity to witness to them. The church would say everyone was welcome, but then exclude them from participation until they changed and became like the church expected.
I could not understand why there were so many different types of churches and denominations, all supposedly following the same God yet being mad and arguing with people from different churches.
I think I could go on and on, but I just got so tired and dissatisfied with church that my wife and I decided to stop going and see how things went. Well, for us, they went better. That dissatisfaction seemed to disappear. I started having relationships with others that I was told I should have no association. I started asking questions and finding that it was OK. I started finding new friends in various places and they did not ruin my fellowship or belief in God.
I know many people who enjoy going to church to be with others and that is OK. Yet I know others who got fed up with church and had issues that made them mad. For us, that was not the case. We just felt so unhappy and unfulfilled while in the institutional church we had to move on.
I think most people think that if you are a done, you have completely given up on God. They think you became an atheist and want nothing to do with God, when actually it is just religion itself we are done with, and we no longer want to spend time in a building that just does not mean what it used to mean.
After fifteen years outside the institutional church, we can honestly say we are happier and more fulfilled. We rely more on learning to hear from the Spirit within, we are free from specific doctrines and beliefs found in religion and we depend more on God to lead us to meaningful fellowship with all people as we walk in the freedom we have found outside the walls of religion.
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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer as his views fit perfectly with those of Done with Religion. He also writes on Substack at https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/
