How The Heck Do You Have A Good Marriage?

By Mike Edwards

This is a previous Post. I thought I would repost with some minor changes, to follow up my Post last week – How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

I’m no expert but one who is anxious for others to avoid my failures. I can assure you my marriage hasn’t lasted 41 years so far because I am some saint. Divorce can happen and doesn’t doom one as a failure for life. Relationships aren’t that complicated, just hard. Many marriages can succeed when both partners adhere to a few essential attitudes and actions to better relate. I am going to keep this less than a five-minute read to hopefully provoke more readings about marriage here or elsewhere if struggling. Success isn’t an exact path. We all have a chance if strive to treat our partner like a best friend!

The Right Attitude – Accepting Differences 

Good luck finding a partner that always agree. Marriage is about living happily incompatible. There are no perfect matches. Relationships often start off well because reality hasn’t set in – sharing closets, bathrooms, in-laws, children, etc. You still have in common why you began the relationship, but now you have to work out your differences. Other friendships don’t have the 24/7 challenges. Naively, I assumed in the beginning I would be happily married 100% of the time. Now, I realize being pleased 75% of the time is a pretty good marriage. Strive to treat your partner like you want to be treated when not agreeing. Marriage isn’t agreeing but learning to disagree. 

The Right Actions – Fighting Fair 

After accepting we don’t have a right to expect everything we desire, we still must solve differences to live peacefully together. When handling differences in other relationships it usually is out in public with others around eyeballing your actions. In a 24/7 relationship differences can happen more in private. There is less accountability to behave. Kids, we know the rules in solving differences – keep your hands to yourself, don’t raise your voice, stop interrupting, etc. When such rules are violated, give each other permission to stop and restart when acting more civilly. Couples who say they are no longer in love have stopped treating each other in loving ways. Happy couples expect problems and solve differences in a positive manner so solutions can be discovered. 

Identify A Specific Plan And Persist 

As you strive for the right attitude and actions – develop specific steps each can take, evaluate success in a time limited fashion, and do it all over again. Keep trying until finding what works. Judge the relationship not on feelings that depend on circumstance but judge the relationship on specific actions that can bring about desired feelings.  Couples often give up too soon because they attempt a “hit and miss” approach to their problems. Couples often argue, “they have tried everything.” Develop your own list of habits such as below:

• During conflict both ideally ask “what can I do differently” not “why can’t you”
• Assume good will of you partner unless you married the devil
• Focus on solutions than problems
• Persist unless one partner is being abusive
• Run from temptations such as drugs or affairs that can set you up for failure
• Get third party help after remaining stuck
• Try doing what you would tell your friend if they asked for advise
• Identify 2 or 1 thing you wish each would do differently once a day that is observable and you can acknowledge genuine appreciation when it happens
• Focus on you being the right person rather than your partner
• Happy couples’ ratio of encouraging than criticizing is at least 6:1

Spiritual help can be invaluable in marriage

Maybe you are just a good person without any help. Personally, I need help being the best version of myself for the sake of my partner. I need to be willing to say sorry. I need to recognize I am being selfish. I need to be willing to forgive when my partner takes responsibility for their actions. Great marriages aren’t about being good enough or not as bad as other partners. The best goal of marriage or any relationship is aiming for perfection. My view of God inspires me to pursue perfection in my relationships without being paralyzed by guilt when failing. I have the “want to” to be perfect. I believe that motivation comes from God!

John and Julie Gottman, who have researched marriage relationships for years to identify important factors that lead to success, state something so true: “Every marriage has perpetual issues – conflicts based on personality differences or lifestyle differences that never go away. Common examples include how much intimacy there should be in a marriage, as well as disagreements over money and household chores. But as longtime marriage therapists, we’ve found that partners can live peacefully with perpetual issues as long as they talk about them in a open, productive way.”

How The Heck Do You Have A Good Marriage?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

Social Media - It Can Cause Much Hatred

by Michael Donahoe

I have watched with displeasure at times the discussions and comments on Social Media. This is a common way of communication these days and it is very easy to be bold and argumentative while using it. We express our thoughts and feelings in a much meaner way than we would if we were face to face.

I think most people find that sitting in front of a computer screen gives a sense of boldness and openness to express themselves in ways that are not always a good thing. I think there is something about not being in the presence of someone or seeing their facial expressions that emboldens us and allows our mean side to come out.

To me it is the same feeling you can get when you get behind the wheel of a car. All of a sudden we seem to be in attack mode. We blow our horn at others, yell and curse and flip people off, yet if we walked by them on the street we would probably smile and say hello.

There is something about face to face communication that usually changes the way we talk to and treat others. Face to face communication seems to take away the meanness we usually find with social media communication. Looking someone in the face, being in their presence seems to soften the way we talk and respond.

Why is it we cannot see the human being behind the computer screen? Why is it we feel the meanness, and an emboldened power to treat others with contempt? Remember Jesus said to love not only those who love you, but to love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.

There is nothing wrong with social media and communicating through it. Just keep in mind that there is another human being on the other end, and even though we are not in their physical presence the things we say and the way we react has an impact on them. Let us make it a point to have a positive, encouraging impact when we communicate with others.

The way of Jesus is the way of love. Whether it be online or in person we are to love our neighbors. In our world today living in love is becoming rare. Yet by doing so, it will be noticed and it will make a difference in the lives of those who are hurting and so desperately looking for love and acceptance from their fellow human beings.

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Michael Donahoe was added as a writer as his views fit perfectly with those of Done with Religion. He also writes on Substack at https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

Why Is It So Awkward To Talk About God With Others?

By Mike Edwards

Is your experience similar to mine? I enjoy talking about God for spiritual health reasons without any hidden agenda to convert others, but I begin blogging years ago about God because few want to discuss what role God plays in their life. Church can be one place to discuss God, but many of us discovered our contrarian questions weren’t always welcomed in such a setting so we moved on. We discuss family and work relationships. Why not our relationship with God?

Differences of opinions can be uncomfortable

Spiritual topics, like politics, can be touchy. There are diverse opinions in the spiritual arena which might lead to avoiding potential conflict. Groupthink is just human nature. Most humans desire to integrate with a group, get along with its members, and benefit from them. Discussing opposing beliefs can be uncomfortable and can lead to questioning our own beliefs thus creating anxiety.

Christians tend to have an “agenda” reputation

Conversations with God followers often feels like them trying to change your beliefs. We all hate when our partner doesn’t listen and just wants to give advice. I hate to admit I use to have an agenda with those outside the institutional church. I was taught God’s good news was saving people from Hell so they could get into Heaven. I was wrong according to Jesus. See here.   The ship may have sailed others trusting us to have open conversations. All I know to do is to focus on a life where actions speak louder than words in case others want to pursue convos about God.

Claims made about God stifle conversations 

Many of us are into God but many of us left the institutional church because claims about God’s character was contrary to our deepest moral intuitions. Why believe in a God you can’t respect. It is only intuitive that a Creator loves the ways their creations ought to love one another. Beliefs about God’s love that don’t match how you know you ought to love your neighbor may be amiss. Don’t believe everything you hear about God! See here.

Some don’t want to give up stuff or change

Spiritual folks are too quick to assume people don’t discuss God to avoid self-reflection. I suppose many may believe there is a God but don’t pursue because it may require changing some habits, but I doubt that is a main reason for most people. If you know what you are doing is harming others and you don’t care, that is on you. But if struggling with habits that you know are hurting you and others, God doesn’t have a list for you to conquer before getting to know God. Conversation can be stifled when we make assumptions about others and why they may not believe in God.

Believing what we can’t prove is normal 

Faith in God isn’t much different than faith in a lot of life. We still get on an airplane or sit in a chair, not because we know but have reason to believe it is safe. No religion can be proven beyond some doubt, but that doesn’t make faith unreasonable. Maybe we can’t reconcile why God doesn’t intervene more with evil and suffering in the world. Lack of certainty doesn’t mean there aren’t plausible reasons how a loving God can exist in such a world. If you have an inclination there is a Creator, consider initiating such conversations. Many God-folks enjoy such conversations.

Why Is It So Awkward To Talk About God With Others?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

Where Is God?

by Norman Mitchell

https://thewildfrontier.wordpress.com/

I’ve struggled a lot with the apparent withdrawal of God from the world. The old testament is full of stories about God interacting with people, having conversations with them, walking with them, befriending them. Then we get to the new testament, and God appears in the flesh. After that there are a few years where the disciples perform miracles, then… nothing.

The last two thousand years have been years of silence. At least that’s how it seems to me. To be sure, there have been followers of The Way during that time who have had some incredible insights and done some amazing things. But there is no more, “thus saith the Lord”-type of communication. Mostly what I see is people regurgitating the biblical writings and arguing about what they mean.

The easy answer is to conclude that God does not exist—that He is simply a figment of the collective human imagination. It would be easy to chalk all the old stories up to superstition and imagination. It would be easy to conclude that people who were relatively naive about the physical sciences such as molecular biology, orbital mechanics, and advanced chemistry simply attributed natural phenomenon that they didn’t understand to divine intervention. Maybe they were just telling a bunch of morality tales.

But I think there’s a better explanation. To understand, it might be helpful to first look at the politics of the Roman Empire.

As I understand it, the terms evangelist and gospel were Roman terms. Whenever a new Caesar ascended to the throne, the political overlords decided that the masses needed a unifying narrative that would promote stability and maintain everyone’s places in the established hierarchy. The old Caesar was ostensibly descended from the gods and generally had the loyalty of the populace. Because the new Caesar was not a descendent of the old one, the people might be inclined to doubt that he had a divine right to rule and question his legitimacy; and that would be disastrous. Why, the people might revolt, and where would that leave the ruling class?

So the political establishment crafted a narrative that would explain how the new Caesar had descended from the gods, why he had the right to rule, and why the people owed him their allegiance. Then the emperor would send out evangelists who would proclaim the gospel—the good news that there was a new king.

And that is precisely what the new testament writers did when they wrote the books of the new testament, only they were writing about Jesus.

Jesus did not come to start a religion. He never promoted himself as the head of a movement. He came as a servant, but he also came as a king. A humble king to be sure, but a king nonetheless. He came as a king of a completely new kingdom. A transcendent kingdom that looks nothing like the artificial kingdoms of this world. An authentic kingdom that is higher than all other kingdoms.

The gospel is not that Jesus died on the cross to appease an angry God so He would forgive us for being sinners and let us live in heaven when we die. The gospel is not that you need to admit that you are a sinner and pledge mental assent to a set of religious tenets, and then thou shalt have thy sins forgiven and live forever in heaven, the end. The gospel is that the builder from Nazareth was the son of God who arrived on earth and is now the king of the highest kingdom and is the one to whom we owe our highest allegiance.

The gospel of Christ is a call to a discipline. Following the King is a practice. It is a journey, and we face the choice every day to either continue or abandon the journey. Following the King is both an individual pursuit and a corporate expression of Divinity in the world. And that is what God intended from the beginning. His intention was for his presence to be expressed in the physical world, yet Adam failed, Noah failed, and the Israelite nation failed in this endeavor.

God now intends for his image, his presence to be expressed corporately through his followers who are joined together with Christ as the head. And I believe that the reason it seams that God has withdrawn from human society is because the Body of Christ has ensconced itself in an institution that stifles it, inhibits its growth, and creates artificial barriers between the various parts of the body. The institution has obscured the gospel message. Those who benefit from the institution, either by seeking safety within it or by attaining social status from it, have twisted the gospel and turned it into a warped counterfeit of the gospel of the Kingdom. They have used the institution to hide the good news behind a wall of religious dogma.

I believe that we do not see God in the world today because His body is fragmented, disjointed, functionally useless.

Sometimes, I look at the world around me and see things that are so horrible that they are almost unbearable, and I feel as if all I can do is raise my voice to the heavens and demand, “God, do you see?!?”

What I hear in response is Him gently returning the question to me: “do you see?”

It seems that throughout human history, God has been guiding humanity toward a point where we would be willing to allow His life to live through us. But, you might ask, what if the ekklesia fails, just like the others? One reason to hope is that we have the spirit of Christ indwelling us. When Jesus left the earth in physical form, his spirit transferred to his followers.

This is not a rehashing of the new agey teaching that “god is within all of us.” Notice that I said the spirit of Christ indwells us. That’s “us” as a unified whole, not as a loose aggregation of individuals. None of Christ’s followers possesses the full spirit of Christ, but we each have part of it. When we are joined together as a body with Christ as the head, that is when the kingdom of heaven is revealed on the earth—just as God has intended from the beginning.

Several of the new testament authors foresaw a time when God would, once again, interact directly with humanity. Until then, I think He expects us to carry out our assigned mission: to follow the true King and join together as a body under the King’s leadership to reveal his presence in the world. Perhaps if we did that, then people would be able to see God again.

Why Is God So Hidden?

By Mike Edwards

Why isn’t the Bible clearer about divorce, gays, women’s roles, heaven and hell, etc.? If God hates evil so much, why doesn’t God intervene more in our world? Why isn’t God clearer about origins since so many people lose their faith because of their scientific understandings and what the Bible supposedly says? Decide if the below are just rationalizations.

Can we stop claiming the Bible says whoever doubts God is in denial!

The Book of Romans is most commonly used to claim the Bible teaches all who don’t believe in a Creator are simply suppressing what they know to be true deep down. Romans actually says: “many knew God…they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God” (Rm. 1:21, 29). The writer’s audience simply sought to justify evil ways. Those who believe aren’t needing a crutch and those that don’t believe aren’t wicked and don’t know their feelings. I would struggle to believe in God if I thought Hell was real. There are valid reasons for believing or not believing.

God may not be as hidden as it seems.

A universal desire to treat others like we want to be treated may be a personal external force communicating through our moral intuitions. We seem to know we ought to abide by the golden rule. We all have an innate knowledge of right and wrong. What rational person doesn’t believe murder, lying, stealing, or adultery is wrong? Most criminals don’t defend but deny their actions.

Maybe God doesn’t have to speak to influence. 

A parent’s example, not commands, often speaks louder to a child. Doesn’t God mostly speak through influencing? The Bible refers to the Holy Spirit guiding us in truth (Jn. 14:16-17; 16:13). We know the Spirit’s influence when we have thoughts to be the perfect partner, parent, or friend we desire to be deep down. Is the Spirit influencing when we quickly confess and make amends if wronged someone? That’s just not always natural. Maybe we just have to be open to God’s Spirit.

At least God isn’t hiding an unknown future. 

It is natural to think an all-knowing, power God has special insights into future outcomes to help us avoid problems. To say God knows the future suggests a predetermined future making freedom nonsensical. God can’t tell you if the person you want to marry won’t end up betraying you or the job you take won’t end up being phased out. Freedom must be important to God as controlling love is an oxymoron. God joins us in an open future. We surely have God’s blessing choosing the wisest path at the time based on past experiences, current circumstances, and future aspirations. 

How was it when God spoke more or showed up in person?  

Direct communication isn’t always magical. God supposedly spoke audibly when giving Moses the Ten Commandments. Some misunderstood God by not helping an injured soul on the Sabbath. Jesus was said to be God in person, but His miracles didn’t obtain results suggested if God would just stop hiding. Jesus had a 24-7 relationship with twelve men, and they struggled to believe everything that came out of Jesus’ mouth. Jesus’ example than words seems to change the world.

Maybe God speaks to us in non-dramatic ways out of love! 

God’s awing or overpowering presence may only lead to fearful obligations to obey. When parents push their agendas, even if in their children best interests, they may resent or rebel against coercion and never turn back. If God communicates in less demonstrative ways, this may allow for heartfelt choices. The road traveled of learning and reflecting may best lead to lasting convictions. Loving parents want their children to freely reciprocate their love, not feel manipulated.

My grown kids don’t always seek my advice to avoid problems. We are close. I am a counselor by profession so geez – I have a few relational skills. Heck, I announced when teenagers my role was changing to being more of a mentor than authority figure. What teenager doesn’t dig that? Well, my grown kids – old enough to get over any resentments – aren’t runny to catch honey from my lips. Then again, I am not knocking down doors for advice from others. We may all need to travel the journey toward wisdom at our own pace without any pressure.

God can still love us despite being hidden.  

Freedom is absolutely necessary for authentic relationships. God’s constant interference and presence could prevent a superior world from emerging. Moral knowledge isn’t hidden. Non-moral decisions are open. A Creator may not reveal themselves for humane reasons we haven’t thought of. The Bible was more direct communication, but it has been used to force beliefs on others despite subject to interpretation. Uncertainty, not certainly about God, protects against imposing beliefs on others which is not God’s nature. Different opinions communicated respectively can stand together as we continually evaluate the most loving approach.

Healing Divisions within Christianity

by Jim Gordon

It is sad that Christianity is divided into so many different groups. We all have a little different interpretation of the bible and a little different understanding of doctrine. Obviously we are not going to agree on everything, but we certainly should be able to love one another and accept each other even when we differ on these things.

It is hard to understand why this happens when God tells us we are to be one as Jesus and the Father are one. Yet, we understand that we are human and it is easy to lose sight of our first love. If we could only stay focused on Christ, listening for his voice and the guidance of the Spirit, loving God and loving others as God intended, then we could look past our differences and accept one another.

The problem seems to be that we are unwilling to see any other viewpoint other than our own. There are those such as my wife and I that do not attend an organized church. There are those who attend a church every time the doors are open. Some attend a house church, some meet with fellow believers at cafe’s, parks or restaurants and others meet in their homes over dinner. We should accept these differences and love one another rather than argue over who is right and who is wrong.

There really is not a right or wrong way to assemble together and we need to stop expecting everyone to do things exactly the same way. We should respect others views and focus on loving them rather than expecting them to see things our way.

Things will not change until we start focusing on what is common in our lives rather than the differences. The common focus should be on Christ, the head of the body. After that we should focus on loving others rather than arguing about the differences in interpretation.

We also need to keep in mind that we are all constantly changing as God brings new truth to us. We are all learning and changing as we are ready to accept new truths. The interpretations I had five years ago are completely different from some of the interpretations I have now. I am sure in another five years they will change again as God leads me into more truth.

Sometimes we are afraid to accept others interpretations because we feel if we do not hold to our way of thinking we are compromising and not standing up for what we believe. We do not have to give up how we interpret the bible, but neither should we think everyone else is wrong. Besides, we really are not responsible for convicting people of sin,  leading them into truth or even saving them. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. We are told to love God and love others.

When we realize we are each equally important functioning parts of the body, and Christ is the head, we can start to change how we feel about those who do not see things exactly the way we do. We can begin to accept our brothers and sisters in Christ just as they are as we realize we are walking as one together with God.

Is God Uncaring By Not Being More Visible Or Audible?

by Mike Edwards

If God would only prove themselves visibly or audibly, would it be easier to believe and follow God? Are there compassionate reasons that God isn’t more visible or audible, or is God just indifferent, selfish, purposely mysterious, etc.? I will leave it to the reader if the below are just rationalizations. If not, don’t let negative assumptions about God’s hiddenness hinder you from exploring more of a relationship with God.

God being visible and audible may not always be in our best interest.  

God’s awing or overpowering presence may only lead to fearful obligations to obey. When parents push their agendas, even if in their children best interests, they may resent or rebel against coercion and never turn back. If God communicates in less demonstrative ways, this may allow for heartfelt choices. The road traveled of learning, reflecting, and non-coerced choices may best lead to lasting convictions.

For the life of me I can’t figure out why my grown kids don’t seek out my advice more often to avoid problems in life. We have a close relationship. I am a counselor by profession so geez – I have a few relational skills. Heck, I announced when teenagers my role was changing to being more of a mentor than authority figure. What teenager doesn’t dig that? Well, my grown kids – old enough to get over any resentments – aren’t runny to catch honey from my lips. Then again, I am not knocking down doors for advice from others. We may all need to travel the journey toward wisdom at our own pace without any pressure.   

If God was communicative in the Old Testament why the change?   

It is recorded in the OT thousands of time: “God said…” Was God always speaking audibly as if dictating to the writer, or was the writer simply conveying figuratively an inner conviction or impression they felt God was revealing to them? One can read many passages and understand “God said” as a figure of speech: “But the Lord said to me, ‘Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I commend you.” (Jeremiah 1:8) I doubt that Jeremiah always waited for God’s audible voice before speaking for God.

Exodus 20: 1-17 starts by saying “all these words” when the 10 commandments were given to Moses through God. The 10 commandments are repeated again in Deuteronomy 5:6-18 but with some slight word variation. If God’s spoke audibly, why aren’t the words in both passages verbatim? I cannot prove all instances of “God said” were figures of speech. I only wish to convey that God may not have spoken audibly as much as thought in the beginning.

God’s supposed direct communication or actions didn’t always lead to clarity or belief.  

When God spoke audibly supposedly to Moses (Ex. 20) to keep the Sabbath, some kept the Sabbath by not helping an injured soul and others understood helping wasn’t violating the spirit of the law. God dropped manna from the sky to help a nation survive in the wilderness and separated the Red Sea to escape one’s enemy, but the Israelites still did not believe or put their total trust in God. God came in person but Jesus’ miracles did not obtain the results if only God would stop hiding.

What happens if God communicates more through an invisible Spirit?  

Even the Bible tells us the Word of God has never been the Bible but flesh in the body of Jesus (Jn. 1:1-14). Jesus’ Spirit now lives in us to guide us in truth (Jn. 14:16-17; 16:13). It may be good that that the Spirit doesn’t communicates audible. The Bible was more direct communication, but it has been used to force beliefs others despite subject to interpretation. Uncertainty, not certainly about God, protects against imposing beliefs on others which is not God’s nature.

The Spirit doesn’t have to speak audibly to influence.  Doesn’t the Spirit speak to us somehow when we have thoughts to be the perfect partner, parent, or friend we desire to be deep down despite our constant failures? The Spirit surely influences when we have wronged someone, we quickly confess and make amends. That just isn’t always natural. God’s Spirit doesn’t have to speak to us as much as influence us to freely love others as best we know.

God’s respect for freedom requires less direct communication than we think.

Many often seek God’s voice when they have an important decision to make. We may hope an all-knowing, power God has special insights into future outcomes so to let us in on the secret how to avoid problems. To say God knows the future suggests a predetermined future making freedom nonsensical. God can’t tell you if the person you want to marry won’t end up betraying you or the job you take won’t end up being phased out. God is in life with us. God sets us free to make our own decisions, hopefully in the interests of all, according to the gifts and passions we have.

We can know God despite God’s invisibility and lack of audibleness.  

Moral knowledge isn’t hidden. Amoral decisions are open. How is human physical presence working for you in keeping you on the straight and narrow? Don’t we hide our feelings or actions from partners or friends when not doing what we are supposed to. A Creator may not reveal themselves for reasons we haven’t thought of but would accept in time. There may be many humane reasons God doesn’t speak audibly or appear visibly, yet seeks to influence positively.

Social Media and the Hatred It Can Cause

by Jim Gordon

I have watched with displeasure at times the discussions and comments on Social Media. This is a common way of communication these days and it is very easy to be much bolder and argumentative than usual. We express our thoughts and feelings in a much meaner way than we would if we were face to face.

I think most people find that sitting in front of a computer screen gives a sense of boldness and openness to express themselves in ways that are not always a good thing. I think there is something about not being in the presence of someone or seeing their face that emboldens us and allows our mean side to come out.

To me it is the same feeling you can get when you get behind the wheel of a car. All of a sudden we seem to be in attack mode. We blow our horn at others, yell and curse and flip people off, yet if we walked by them on the street we would smile and say hello.

There is something about face to face communication that usually changes the way we talk to and treat others. Face to face communication seems to take away the meanness we usually find with social media communication. Looking someone in the face, being in their presence seems to soften the way we talk and respond.

Why is it we cannot seem to see the human person behind the computer screen? Why is it we feel the meanness, this emboldened power to treat others with contempt? Remember Jesus said to love not only those who love you but to love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.

There is nothing wrong with social media and communicating through it. Just keep in mind that there is another human being on the other end, and even though we are not in their physical presence the things we say and the way we react has an impact on them. Let us make it a point to have a positive, encouraging impact when we communicate with others.

The way of Christ is the way of love. Whether it be online or in person we are to love our neighbors. In our world today living in love is becoming rare. Yet by doing so in the power of the Spirit it will be noticed and it will make a difference in the lives of those who are hurting and so desperately seeking for love and acceptance.

Persuasive Words

1 Corinthians 2:4-5 and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power that your faith should not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God

People can be persuaded to do certain things or believe certain things by the power of suggestion from other people, especially those who have a charismatic personality.

There is nothing wrong with listening to others. We can learn from others by listening and we can encourage others by talking together. Yet we do not want to depend on what others say putting all our faith and trust in their words and opinions.

Our faith needs to be based on more than just the power of words. Our faith needs to be in the living God and the power of his Spirit. Paul tells us that when he spoke it was not by natural wisdom of men but by power and demonstrations of the Holy Spirit.

Even today there are many people who can talk and persuade others by the power of their message. We do not need more powerful man-made messages or the opinions of others to guide us. Now more than ever we need to seek and listen to the wisdom of God presented through the Holy Spirit. The powerful and life changing guidance of the Holy Spirit is the only thing that will make a difference in our lives today.

We need to be careful who we listen to and what message they are presenting. There are many people with their own agendas and who are way off base from the message the Holy Spirit wants to give. Love God, love one another and seek first the kingdom of God are not common messages in our world today.

Remember, John wrote in his epistle that we have the Holy Spirit living within us and we have no need for anyone to teach us what is true.

Abide in Christ and listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit within you to lead and guide you. Let the love of God flow from you daily to help and encourage others along the way.

We All Have Different Opinions And That Is OK

If we could only accept one another in all the different views and opinions that are out there, what a different place this world would be.

We all have an opinion. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with stating our opinion. What is bad is when we expect everyone else to go along with our opinion.

That is when all kinds of arguing and hard feelings happen.

We all are free to have our opinion yet we should accept the fact that not everyone will agree. Keep in mind our opinion may not be right and our opinion may change over time.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion and being free to state their opinion, but remember it is only one opinion. We should not expect everyone to go along and we should not get mad when others have differing opinions.

Accept one another and the unique ways God created us. Love and accept those who see things differently. That does not always mean we agree or condone what others do but we are not going to always agree on everything anyway.

We are to love God and love one another, and as the bible mentions to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, attend to your own business and work with your hands.

We should not worry that others see things differently. We should not get mad and fight and argue trying to convince people to see things our way.

If you are a follower of Christ then follow him the way you feel he is leading you. If you are not a follower or Christ or do not believe in gods at all, follow your heart and do not try to force your views on others.

I believe God is big enough to work in each of us as he sees best. Rather than worry about forcing our opinions and views on others, accept the fact that we are all different. Love others and respect one another despite the differences.

So Many Different Views and Opinions

After being on Facebook for some time and following articles and comments on social media, it does not take long to realize everyone has an opinion. There is nothing wrong with that, it is quite normal. Yet when people start trying to force their opinion on others it becomes a problem.

I have found it best to listen to others opinions but not to dwell on them. We all have an opinion on life issues, a way of interpreting the bible and views on living for God but very seldom do we agree on things.

We each need to follow the leading of the Spirit within us and stick with what we feel is right for us. Obviously this does not mean we are always right, but at the time it is best to go with what you feel is the correct way until the Spirit leads you to a different view.

Do not take the view of any person as gospel, do not let any person guilt you or shame you into seeing things their way. Listen to others opinions and respect them, but listen more for the soft, quiet voice of the Spirit to teach you the truth. Always be open to changing your personal views according to what the Spirit teaches.

So often we read an article that says one thing on a particular subject, then find another article that says just the opposite. It is not long until a heated argument begins in the comments and things can get ugly. Name calling and getting mad because of differences of opinion and interpretation is just not the way it should be. We need to learn to accept that we all have different views and we can all be wrong at times.

Sometimes people argue over bible doctrine or subjects that are highly controversial in our world today. We seem to think we have to defend our view and prove our point or we are not being faithful to God. I personally think God can take care of himself and we do not need to defend our interpretations. We are not called to convert people to our way of thinking, we are only called to love them.

In the christian world today, one of the major areas of arguments and differences of opinion seems to be in regard to marriage equality and gay people.

Many christian people seem so hateful toward people who are gay. I am not sure why we tend to make gay people our enemy. I know many gay people who love God and want to follow Jesus. To say they cannot be christian because they are gay is just plain wrong. Yet whether christian or not, gay or straight Jesus calls us to love all people.

Christian people will say being gay is a choice, yet I never remember making the choice to be straight. I was born that way. Is it not the same with people who are gay?

I think so often people only look at the label and do not see the human being. The fact is there is no difference between straight and gay people other than the people we are attracted too. We all want to find that one special person to love and to enjoy life together.

Rather than forcing our opinions on others whether they are gay or straight, christian or atheist, muslim or jew, black or white, republican or democrat, male or female we should be able to show the love of Christ to everyone and accept them as our fellow human beings who want the same things as everyone else. We all want to be happy, enjoy life and be accepted and loved.

It is fine to have our individual opinions, yet we need to remember that not everyone will see things the same way. We are all entitled to have our views and opinions without having love and acceptance being withheld.

Jesus said to love God and love one another. He never said to love only certain people or only people who believes the same. We can have our different opinions yet we can love and respect each other even in those differences.

Once we can get past insisting our way is the right way and everyone else is wrong, it will be easier to accept others. When we realize none of us have it all together and we are all learning, then we can accept people with different views and opinions without the hatred and condemnation.

No matter what interpretation, opinion or view you have, we should be able to believe what we feel is right and still accept the differences of others and love one another with the love of God.

A few verses on loving one another:

Mark 12:30-32 — and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Luke 10:36,37 — Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers? The expert in the law replied, the one who had mercy on him. Jesus told him, Go and do likewise.

John 13:34 — A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

Galatians 5:14 — For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

1 John 4:20 — If someone says, I love God and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

Memories, The Mind and Communication

Have you ever taken time to sit down and start talking about old memories with someone?

My wife and I spent the other evening doing just that. It is enjoyable sometimes to just talk and bring up old times from childhood. It is amazing the things that came to mind that we remembered from pre-kindergarten up through young adulthood and the present.

I can actually remember an event when a photographer came to our house and set up a big light and a chair in the corner of the room. I remember seeing it all from another angle in the room but was not sure why I remember it from that angle. Only after talking with my parents and telling them of the memory they told me that my dad was holding me while the photographer got the camera set up. They said there was a bright light against the wall focusing on the chair in the corner. It was a big surprise to me when they told me I was only six months old at the time yet I can vividly remember the scene in my head.

The brain we were blessed with sure is a remarkable member of the body. It is amazing the things you can remember. My wife and I talked about so many events over the evening from the earliest memories all the way up to the present.

We sat and talked for what seemed like twenty minutes but was actually over an hour. The time flew by and we both enjoyed talking and listening to each other discuss our childhood memories.

I truly think, for married couples especially, this is one way to grow closer together with those you love and trust. Opening yourself up more, sharing things you might not have shared with anyone before and having good honest communication helps build trust and respect for one another.

Some of the events were funny, others sad and some just down right embarrassing. My wife pointed out that all the events of the past make us who we are today. God takes the good, the bad and the ugly and uses it all to make us the person we are today. A person he can use to help others who may be going through similar events right now who need someone who can understand and provide encouragement.

Take some time and enjoy the memories of the past, realizing that the past is over and done but it made you what you are today. Then be ready to encourage someone who may be going through a tough time because of some of the choices they made and are feeling bad about. The bad choices can be used as stepping stones to much better things.

The funny thing was, after talking about all the memories of the past and remembering things from so long ago, when my wife asked me what I had for lunch at work a couple days ago….I could not remember. Can anyone relate?