Why Do We Avoid Discussions With Those Who Have Different Beliefs?

By Mike Edwards

Your experience may not be mine. I am writing out of frustration. I tend to be more skeptical than most, whether it be about religion, my profession of psychology, or now science. Over time I realized “truth” may be less certain than proclaimed. I needed to be more open-minded. When one is willing to have a calm discussion, why might we hesitate to discuss our views with others who believe differently?

Certainty, not uncertainty, is more comforting

One may not feel confident defending their beliefs. But there may be a stronger reason why we hesitate to discuss different views with others. One may believe what seems to be the popular narrative, without exploration, to avoid anxiety not knowing. Disagreeing with the popular science narrative or church leadership about God’s character can lead to isolation. When universal agreement doesn’t exist, it should be obvious that one must be allowed to form their own opinions since uncertainty exists.

What are the consequences of avoiding uncertainty?

When only one side is presented, control and power grow intentionally or unintentionally. It should be intuitive denying diverse opinions is unloving and controlling. Most don’t except such behaviors in their personal relationships. Having good intentions by believing you are right for the whole doesn’t matter if you could be wrong. Often, we determine one’s rationality based on if their beliefs are different than ours. 

Is there any Truth? 

Certain absolutes are universal and obvious to all rational beings.  Does anyone reading this not believe physical or sexual abuse is wrong? No reasonable God or non-God person doesn’t respect the golden rule in relationships. Criminals don’t defend their murders or thefts; instead, they deny committing such crimes. Adultery only isn’t wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. We don’t debate many laws, only the decisions what is a just punishment.

How can we begin to discuss different views more openly? 

I left the institutional church, but not God, because others wouldn’t engage in non-dogmatic conversations. It can provoke anxiety to imagine our beliefs may not be as certain as we once thought. We must have open discussions and avoid thinking and demanding “supposed truths.” We can stop labeling those who disagree with our biblical interpretations as heretics. We can stop calling those who disagree with our views of science or Covid vaccines as conspiracists. Imagine how different as a people we would be if religious, political, or science folks admitted “truth” is something we strive for together, not always thinking our opinions are the truth!

Why Do We Avoid Discussions With Those Who Have Different Beliefs?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

What May Be The Main Reason People Aren’t Closer To God?

By Mike Edwards

It is hard for many to wrap their brain around that a Supreme Being exists. Others are inclined to believe there is a Creator. I am convinced the Bible is a main reason many don’t have more of a relationship with a Creator they believe in. I wrote here other reasons people don’t pursue a closer relationship with the God they believe in. Many wouldn’t hold certain beliefs about God unless claimed true by authority figures – according to the Bible. Answers to questions according to the Bible, contrary to our moral intuitions of a loving God, may be the problem!

The Bible, Gays, and Hell 

I believe there are two main beliefs claimed about God because of the Bible that drive others away from God. Many may be unaware biblical scholars who respect the Bible don’t believe Scriptures condemn gay monogamous relationships. See here.  It doesn’t make moral sense why God would condemn gays when they can no more chose who they love than straights can. Ask them! Why would anyone choose to be gay based on the condemnation and bigotry they face?

One would only imagine a loving God creating a literal Hell because of one’s interpretation of a Book.  A loving God wouldn’t torture anyone forever since such pain serves no lasting purpose. Humans wouldn’t even create such a place for their worst enemies. Hitler tortured millions of Jews; God is said to torture billions forever. A moral God can’t be a hellish, sadistic, torturer! We can’t prove God controlled the thoughts of writers to always portray God accurately, but scholars don’t even agree that a literal Hell is a reality in the Bible. See here.

The Bible, talking snakes, and evolution

No one was there in the beginning. You don’t have to believe in magical trees and talking snakes. Those could be a literary device to discuss a relationship between God and humans. Many insist on a literal interpretation of Genesis, that Adam was a literal than representative of the first human. I can believe God did or didn’t use evolution in the creative process – humans evolved over time into a more complex form. See https://biologos.org/

The Bible and God’s violence rationalized

Many notice passages like I Sam. 15:3 where God orders: “Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them: put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.” If you don’t think this is morally shocking, how would you react if reading this same command in the Koran? God is said to order killing boys and non-virgin women but sparing virgins (Num. 31:18). Did God really expect young woman to watch their mothers, sisters, and brothers murdered by men who one day may expect marriage or sex? Biblical scholars are rightly questioning if the authors always depicted what God is truly like. 

So, what is God really like? 

Faith in God or what God is truly like isn’t much different than faith in general. We still get on an airplane, not because we know but have reason to believe it is safe. We can’t always be certain. Surely a loving Creator would love the way we were created to love. Somehow, I know what a true friend or perfect God must be like. A God worth believing in surely desires to inspire and encourage you to become the person deep down you want to become. Choose biblical interpretations and understandings of God that make moral sense, regardless of what others claim the Bible teaches. I have decided a journey of faith with such a God is worth living.

What May Be The Main Reason People Aren’t Closer To God?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com