How Do You Know Who Is Telling The Truth?

By Mike Edwards

I admit that I can’t read hearts and minds to know if one is telling the truth or lying for power, financial gain, avoiding liability, or trying to save their job.  I will try to not make this political but religion and politics have much in common. Politicians often discourage civil discussions concerning disagreements and may resort to calling one a conspiracist, just like religious leaders calling those they disagree with a heretic. Open dialogue leads us to getting closer to the truth in religion, political issues, or science. Those who suppress debate – what are they worried about?

Trust those who openly acknowledge when they were wrong 

Religion and politics are somewhat different – biblical interpretation cannot be proven due to future observation but science allows objective future observations. Scholars of biblical interpretation disagree if God condemns gay relationships. Future observations will not prove one right or wrong. But in science we did learn conspiracists turned out to be proven right that Covid shots didn’t stop infection and transmission of the virus. It seems to me that science has a way of correcting opinions that biblical interpretation of ancient literature doesn’t. Trust religious leaders who admit they could be wrong, or politicians who acknowledge when proven to be wrong. Many remain silent and hope you don’t notice.

Trust those who admit immoral actions 

Would you forgive a spouse, leader, or politician if they committed adultery? That is up to you. But watch their actions when clearly caught betraying! Do they admit failure and agree to be held accountable 24/7, or do they blame their partner/stress/etc. for their actions? I am not excusing moral failures but many fail. Betrayal is a choice. I trust more those who accept responsibility and blame themselves as opposed to others.

Trust those that invite investigation or debate 

Dr. Fauci claimed rejecting him is rejecting science. But science is an ongoing discussion. Some drugs approved initially are taken off the market. Religious leaders who claim their views are God’s Word and don’t invite debate – are they afraid to defend their views in public so individuals can decide for themselves and possibly disagree. Theologians who hide behind “God said,” are claiming to be holier than those that disagree with them. Politicians who don’t invite debate – don’t trust them further than you can throw them.

Trust those who have more to loss 

Admire theologians who disagree with their congregation or superiors because they differ in their views of God. They are taking a risk in losing their job! There is not much risk agreeing with the common narrative. Watch for politicians who oppose the popular narrative. They may be more principled. Doctors who risk being de-licensed because of their medical views as opposed to Doctors who stand to benefit from the common narrative. Notice those who stand to gain financially or because of job security.   

Trust more those that admit uncertainty 

Those who claim certainty often are naïve and may have other internal motives. Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate. Assume uncertainty if you have one rational friend who believes differently from you whether it’s about religion or politics. Couples who claim certainty are headed toward divorce or a sucky relationship. God-followers and religious leaders seem hell-bent in telling people what they must believe about God according to their understanding and interpretation of the Bible. Politicians who refuse debate of their policies are no different. Religious or political leaders play God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming to know the truth and we can’t decide for ourselves. 

Kids are lying when they don’t want to talk about what they did or believe

Trust your instincts whether one is telling you the truth. Trust those who admit wrong or invite investigation of their beliefs. Few such leaders seem to exist!

How Do You Know Who Is Telling The Truth?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?

By Mike Edwards

I written here many fears we may face in sharing certain beliefs with others. I am probably being too simplistic suggesting a main reason why we don’t discuss our differences whether it be about God or politics, but I am looking how to begin a discussion. I know many don’t venture certain discussions because of the consequences. Pastors loss their job if certain opinions about God are contrary to what their congregation believes. We have seen medical doctors’ licenses threaten with not agreeing with the Covid vaccine narrative. But I am desperate to understand why we avoid important conversations. Don’t we get closer to the truth sharing our opinions with one another?

We avoid pain by staying away from certain conversation

For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create doubts about other beliefs they have been taught.  Questioning if the Covid shots are safe in the long-run, if we have gotten the shots, can raise anxiety about our health. Perceived certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. Unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. Anxiety is avoided by not discussing one’s beliefs with others who believe differently. I imagine also many avoid certain discussions because they don’t feel able to defend their position or they prefer to avoid possible conflict generally.

I have written here how assuming certainty during uncertainty can be a relationship destroyer. Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Adultery isn’t only wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate by those in authority. Assume uncertainty if you have one rational friend who believes differently from you whether it’s about religion or politics.

Civil discussions are critical in the pursuit of truth 

Obviously, we may also avoid disagreements because such discussions can get heated. We must control our emotions when discussing our beliefs. We must talk to others like we want to be talked to. We must stop labelling others. We often are quick to consider or call others heretics or conspiracists when differing in religion or politics. How about thinking one has a different opinion than resorting to name calling!  

How can we begin having civil discussions?

• We must stop thinking our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
• We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility, accepting that misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with our own
• We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
• We can defend our reasoning, respect the opinions of others, and commit to pursuit of truth

What about those who refuse to agree to disagree?

Do Christians or God-folks always look the other way or forgive uncivility – not treating others like they want to be treated? I don’t have to accept those who demand a literal Hell is biblical at the expense of unbelievers in their journey here on earth. See here.  If one insists Hamas raping women and burning babies alive is justifiable because of perceived past disputes, I will condemn you. Jesus didn’t forgive the Pharisees before condemning their ridiculous religious laws. Open-mindedness doesn’t mean there aren’t common, universal, moral beliefs. Wisdom is required!

What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

Why Can’t We Discuss Our Political, Science, Or Religious Differences?

By Mike Edwards

Our world seems so divided. Christians often label others heretics if they don’t believe there is a literal Hell or that God doesn’t condemns gays. Hardly a conversation starter. Science seems to have followed in Religion’s footsteps. Those who question if Covid shots are as safe and effective as claimed are labeled anti-vaxers, though they may have gotten the flu vaccine for years. In politics opponents are labeled a racist or conspiracist without proof. If you avoid discussions when others aren’t acting irrational, I would love to hear your thoughts as to why. My email is at the end.

Why Christians may suck at discussing differences

I will use myself as an example unfortunately. It’s not meant to be an excuse. I believed decades ago that God condemned gays though they could no more control their attractions than straights. I was wrong. See here.  I used to believe God sent those who didn’t have the right kind of faith while here on earth to a fiery, torturous afterlife. I was wrong. See here.  I am convinced the only reason I believed as I did was because of my understanding of the Bible. How could I be devoted to God if I didn’t follow the Bible’s teachings? Christians may not listen to different beliefs because they assume their interpretation or a biblical writer’s understanding of God is right. Stay openminded!

How we discuss our opinions is important 

We often are busy thinking we are right and preparing our response than listening. There are obvious reasons to avoid discussions with certain people. It is difficult to talk to others if they don’t control their emotions or convey they are right and you are wrong. We can’t have discussions with those who are rude or close-minded. But disagreements are normal in relationships. We can’t always prove what we believe is true about God. We can’t claim without debate if Covid shots or all the childhood vaccines are as safe as claimed. We can’t claim without debate if our climate control measures are best for the most human flourishing. But there may be deeper reasons why we avoid discussions with those who have different beliefs.

Societal influences can discourage discussion

News or information outlets one listen’s to may only report one viewpoint for whatever reason and imply other views are conspiracy. It is best to be aware of both sides of a different belief to decide for yourself. Church leadership often imply contra views to their own are heresy. Threats of being excommunicated, censored by authorities, or losing your job are real. The solution is for all to be free to discussion opinions openly without threats. If you know the “truth,” why be afraid to defend your view!

Most humans desire to integrate with a group, get along with its members, and benefit from them. The loner must fend for themselves. Both disagreeing with the perceived popular science narrative or disagreeing with church leadership about God’s character can lead to isolation or being ostracized.  Being your own person is a tough business. Thriving societies must support individuals being allowed to form their own opinions when universal agreement isn’t obvious. Misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with your own. You may end up being wrong!

The fear of uncertainty can discourage discussion

Certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. One may believe what seems to be the popular narrative because unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. One can avoid anxiety by not discussing their beliefs with others who believe differently. I imagine most Leaders prefer being seen as knowing (certain) than not knowing (uncertain). For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create anxiety about what other beliefs may be in question. Questioning if the Covid shots are as safe and effective if we have gotten the shots, can raised anxiety about our health. What if we pushed others to get the shots and we end up wrong? There may be an easy out. We sometimes trust those in authority, but we may come to realize such trust was misplaced.

What are the consequences of avoiding uncertainty?

The science often changes with further investigation. Many religious beliefs are subject to interpretation of a Book. That is why there are thousands of denominations with their own creeds. Certainty, not uncertainty, can lead others astray if one is wrong. Also, when only one side is presented, control and power grow intentionally or unintentionally. It should be intuitive denying diverse opinions is unloving and controlling. Most don’t except such behaviors in their personal relationships. A refusal to openly discuss or defend one’s views is a denial of personal choice and suggests an unhealthy dependency on “certainty.” Relax! Universal truths exist. What religion denies the main thing – to love and treat others like you want to be treated.

There can be nefarious reasons for preventing discussions 

The most benign explanation for censoring the opinions of others is not necessarily the fear of losing power as much as the fear of losing security (one’s livelihood). In my counseling career, I often questioned the narrative concerning psychotropic medications. A client is owed a discussion of both the risks and benefits of such an intervention for mental healthiness. I didn’t always share my opinion with psychiatrists in charge. I don’t fear conflict. But I am sure I feared potential loss of a job because I was in the minority and low on the totem pole. In politics differing with the perceived popular opinion might not lead to reelection. Pastors risk being kicked out of the pulpit.

The more evil explanation for censoring the opinions of others is one’s desire for control and power over others. Control and power also have financial benefits. Control and power flourish when others are not allowed to discuss alternative opinions in the public arena. Many may fear liability if they admit they are wrong and participated in thwarting discussion. One way to judge one’s motive is by demanding answers as to why one is refusing debate. If you are so sure you are right, why do you fear convincing others? Religion and science are playing God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming they know the truth and we are too stupid to decide for ourselves!

What is truth?

Openminded people accept they may be wrong. We are more likely to be right when there seems to be almost universal agreement on the topic of concern. Most don’t defend rape, or physical or sexual abuse. Adultery isn’t wrong only in the eyes of the betrayer. But rational people do not agree on matters such as immigration policies, climate policies, marijuana legalization, if God condemns gays, if God inspired all of the Bible, etc. We must be willing to defend our views among one another rather than shut down those we disagree with. Those fortunate enough to live in a democratic society must accept the vote of the majority when comes to law setting. You can still defend your position in hopes of a future vote. May the best, most common-sense position win.

Love surely is the path forward to healthy discussions and debates 

My co-blogger rightly suggest love is the path forward. See here. We can strive to be the better person in conversation. But we have every right to oppose those who refuse to accept uncertainty and fight fairly. This can be done civilly but lack of freedom of speech is important for future generations. Leaders must be held accountable to be open-minded than certain. In our personal lives, we can try to engage with those who insist on certainty when it doesn’t exist but in time one may need to move on. We can stop labeling those who disagree with our biblical interpretations as heretics. We can stop calling those who disagree with our views of science or politics as conspiracists. Imagine how different as a people we would be if religious, science, and political folks talked openly for the common goal of pursing the greater good!

Why Can’t We Discuss Our Political, Science, Or Religious Differences?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

How Can We Have Discussions With Those Having Different Beliefs?

By Mike Edwards

I wrote HERE my personal story with my best friend in our inability to discuss our different spiritual beliefs. We used to be in total agreement until my views begin changing of what God may really be like. We have agreed to disagree, and thankfully still have a great relationship. Part of the challenge may be our long history together. But I am convinced there are ways for friends to discuss their vastly different beliefs, whether they be religious or political in nature, though it does take two to tango.

What quality is essential for open conservations?

Talk to others like you want to be talked to. You must control your emotions. Discuss or fight fairly or forget it! Disagreements are normal in relationships. At least one party must initiate the possibility of an open conversation. Time will tell if others will follow your lead. When discussing if sexual abuse is wrong, most rational people will agree. If you are discussing what God is really like, you may be wrong. Unless you have met God in person! If you are discussing what policies are best for the greater good (immigration, climate, covid mandates), you may be wrong.

What societal conditions make open conversations difficult?

One may not feel confident defending their belief, but there are other reasons why we avoid discussions. If only one opinion is presented in main news sources, those with differing beliefs than the common narrative are often shut down and thought of as conspiracists – not exactly a conversation starter. Also, certainty rather than uncertainty comforts individuals psychologically. One may believe what seems to be the popular narrative because unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. Disagreeing with the popular science narrative can lead to being ostracized. Disagreeing with church folks about God’s character can lead to isolation. When universal agreement doesn’t exist, one must be allowed to form their own opinions since uncertainty exists.

How do we determine truth from uncertainty?

Openminded people accept they may be wrong. We can know we are right when there seems to be almost universal agreement on the topic of concern. Most don’t defend rape, sexual abuse, or stealing from others. But rational people do not agree on matters such as immigration policies, climate policies, marijuana legalization, if God condemns gays, etc. We must be willing to defend our views among one another rather than shut down those we disagree with. Those fortunate enough to live in a democratic society must accept the vote of the majority when comes to law setting. You can still defend your position in hopes of a future vote.

What to do when one refuses to allow your opinions 

We can strive to be the better person in conversation. But we have every right to oppose those who refuse to accept uncertainty and fight fairly, regardless of their motives. This can be done civilly but lack of freedom of speech is important for future generations. Leaders must be held accountable to be open-minded than certain. We can try to engage with those who insist on certainty when it doesn’t exist, but in time one may need to move on. We can stop labeling those who disagree with our biblical interpretations as heretics. We can stop calling those who disagree with our views of science or politics as conspiracists. Imagine how different as a people we would be if religious and political folks were open to discussions for the common goal of pursing the greater good!

How Can We Have Discussions With Those Having Different Beliefs?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

Why Can’t Two God-Believing Friends Discuss God?

By Mike Edwards

I hope some readers can relate to my experience and journey with a best friend for decades. Many of us are done with religion but not God. We have stopped going to the institutional church for many reasons such as we just can’t agree with the God being preached. But we still love discussing God with others. Those not into God may assume believers have a hidden agenda to change their beliefs. But shouldn’t we be able to at least talk to God-interested friends?

History of friendship can be a problem

I wrote here My Story – Spiritual Journey. My parents were into God and for whatever reason I never rejected such a belief. I continued to attend church until I was about fifty. I became somewhat of a prophetiser in my twenties and thirties. I suppose being taught that unbelievers were going to burn in Hell forever after death didn’t help. Turned out a literal Hell is doubtful according to the Bible. See here.  My passionate and dogmatic ways carried over with my children. When one kid mentioned evolution as a way humans came into existence, I wasn’t exactly the most open-minded Dad. I have apologized, but I am not sure my friend or children believe I have changed when it comes to discussing God.

One challenge is discussions about God can undermine one’s faith

I should share my best friend and I use to have the same beliefs about God. I believe my best friend avoids discussion about God because it may create doubts in their own faith. To question what one has heard in church all their life can lead to uncertainties about God. When challenged if Hell is real though taught all your life Hell is real, it can create anxiety what else taught may be in question. Speaking to a questioner like me isn’t always comforting. One reason I left the church was because I felt my skepticism was divisive for newcomers who came because of what leadership taught. It didn’t help that leadership didn’t exactly invite differing opinions of what God may really be like. 

Another potential reason conversations are difficult

We must examine if we control our emotions when discussing our beliefs. I think I do now. Do you? I mentioned some friends may not enjoy a discussion about God as much as we do, as challenges to one’s belief can cause anxiety. Another challenge is if the culture supports discussing diverse opinions.  Are those with differing beliefs than the common narrative shut down and labelled conspiracists? The Church often labels those with different opinions of God as heretics. When only one political or religious opinion is presented, many are quick to consider their friends conspiracists or heretics – not exactly a conversation help with your best friend or any friend.

Can a friendship continue with important conversation challenges?

I have shared what I think are the main reasons for a stalemate with my best friend. The reader may want to explore their own personal reasons. I consider myself NOW an open-minded person, but legitimate reasons may exist for discussing differing opinions between two friends. Discussing God for some may be the same as discussing politics. The differences are just too far apart. My friend and I have found it is best to agree to disagree, but somehow we still have an a great relationship. It could even be better though. We share other interests. Personally, I still hope someday we can discuss the most important thing in our lives – a relationship with God.

Why Can’t Two God-Believing Friends Discuss God?

 Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com