Bundle of Inconsistencies

by Rocky Glenn

My thoughts going into Easter this past weekend were a mixed bag of criticism, questions, and self-analyzation.  Although this wasn’t the first year we have not actively participated in any church based Easter activities, ghosts of special sermons, carefully selected worship songs, newly purchased clothes, and orders of service timed to the minute haunted my mind.  I have actively, willingly, and intentionally played a role in times past of ensuring Easter Sunday morning service is meticulously planned and flawlessly executed.  Every effort was made to make the right impression on the countless visitors we were certain would be in attendance.  After all, if the plan was executed perfectly it would draw people to join our congregation and our attendance would increase showing how great of a place we were.  Heck, if we performed well enough, visitors might even make a decision to follow Christ!  Oh yeah, I guess we were actually celebrating Christ’s resurrection as well, but, despite being repeatedly mentioned throughout the course of the service, it never seemed to be the real focal point.  There was more concern taken over the timing of every agenda item and every detail of cleanliness and structure rather than celebrating the day for what it was to represent.  It was the biggest Sunday of the year and was treated as such.  It’s the institutional church’s Super Bowl!

Late last week I had a conversation with a long time friend via text and we discussed the subject.  Having walked together through many different courses of life, and many changes in beliefs for each of us, I knew he was someone safe to talk to and would not return any judgment if I shared my true feelings.  I mentioned my disdain for what it has become and how I referred it to as the Evangelical Church’s Super Bowl.  The response I received was a simple, “It’s pretty much all Christians’ Super Bowl,” and he went on to explain it should be a cause of celebration.  He mentioned the resurrection should truly be the one thing in the world we have reason to celebrate and the manner in which we do so should inform people of the power of the resurrection.  I pointed out my problem is it’s the one day of the year we talk about the resurrection and we then live the rest of the year forgetting  it.  We celebrate and look forward to the day itself and gloss over the event.  The next response I received was significant and gently reminded me there were three fingers pointing back at me on the same hand with which I was pointing at others, “Most people are very inconsistent.  I know I am to an extent . . . I say that to seem somehow piously humble, I mean it. I’m an inconsistent mess sometimes.”  The conversation which followed took us everywhere from the prodigal son and his older brother to being focused solely on our own salvation to the true purpose of our faith being faith itself and not our eternal destination.

As I reflected back on the conversation over the next two days, I believe he hit the heart of the matter with the word inconsistent.  If we are all honest with ourselves, we are all just a giant bundle of inconsistencies. Paul stated this in his letter to Rome as simply, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.”  To live a human life is to live a life of inconsistencies.  Inconsistencies appear in both our actions and beliefs and become glaringly obvious when the two do not align with one another.  What we believe as absolutes today are the very things we may question tomorrow.  Theologies and beliefs I would have once defended I now despise and detest.  Though I lived a life once grounded in rules, regulations, and expectations, I strive now to live with an open minded letting Love be my guide.  Yet, in the very same breath with which I proclaim to live in Love I often find myself judging and looking harshly at those who choose to remain in the path I traveled for many years.  Despite striving to live freely in grace and seeking to show grace to others, my back still stiffens as my blood pressure raises when I’m cornered about why I walked away from the life I once lived.  I find it difficult to not respond in anger when being accused of leaving my faith and when I am judged as sliding down a slippery slope to damnation.  The churchboy I lived as would never openly admit to living such a life of inconsistencies no matter how true it would have been.  His life was all about maintaining the perfect image of what he believed a Christian should look like.  I would like to believe the churchboy I once was is dead, but as I shared recently I am forever recovering.  

Brennan Manning admitted his inconsistencies like this:

“When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer.
To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.”

I’m at a point in my journey where I can truly recite Brennan’s words as my own.    Brennan captured what I now believe a Christian truly is as he concluded his statement above with the words of Thomas Merton, “A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.”  This goodness of God is found in returning to Paul’s letter just a few sentences after his admission shared above, “Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Paul’s words bring us back full circle and return us to Jesus and his resurrection which is where our discussion began.  In pondering and reflecting on Easter, I found I was not alone in the process.  One friend spent the week on social media questioning if our obsession with and promotion of holy days had gotten in our way of enjoying the blessing we have in Jesus Christ each and every day.  On Easter Day itself, he gracefully summed up the week with the following sentences:

There is nothing wrong when we celebrate a certain day as “holy” when it is an option you choose in your own conscience before God.

At the same time, there is not a single instance in the grace portion of your and my bible where a holy day is presumed true and where celebrating a certain day is ever mandated.

Whenever and wherever a mandate to observe a holy day is present, it is a violation of God’s grace who cleansed our consciences and who liberated our minds and our consciences to enjoy him free of manmade ritual and tradition.

A life of grace is a life free of manmade mandates of ritual and tradition.  It all comes down to your own conscience before God.  To share grace with others is to refuse to view them through your own personal mandates which arise as result of that conscience between you and God.

Inconsistencies will arrive and plague us as long as we live but as Paul, Brennan, and Thomas all point out, it’s through Jesus we overcome them.  His consistency overcomes our inconsistencies just as His perfection overcomes our imperfection.

Avoiding Assumptions

by Rocky Glenn

As I sat down to write this week I had many false starts and failed attempts as I began to tear into the keys of my laptop fed up with infuriating examples I’ve observed of assumptions and presumptions of folks so assured and self confident of being correct in whatever cause, debate, or argument in which they are currently embroiled.  From social issues such as the latest decision by the United Methodist Church to everyday issues in the workplace, there is nothing more off-putting than encountering the smug attitude of another who is more concerned of being right than treating others right.  For several days I have pondered and meditated how best to combat the self-centered “looking out for number one” mentality which seems to fuel those who not only insist their way of thinking is the right and only way of thinking but also subscribe to the delusion it is their responsibility to insist everyone not following their line of thought is in error and must be corrected.  I realized simply writing a few paragraphs lashing out and spouting how wrong they are and how right I am would do nothing other than add just another pointing finger of judgment and would be furthering the problem at hand.

If you follow my writings at all, it will come as no surprise my favorite author is Brennan Manning.  For the last five years I have annually worked my way through Reflections for Ragamuffins, a collection of his writings formatted as daily devotionals.  It is not unusual for the same writing to speak to me every year as I read it and I normally discover this as I have often caught myself off guard when I go to share a quote, excerpt, or screenshot via social media only to find I had previously shared the identical idea in years past.  This past Wednesday was one of those encounters only this time there was a slight exception.  Being aware of what I was intending to write about this week one of Brennan’s statements leaped off the page at me as never before like a mirror held to my face:

“My struggle to cope with certain people has a simple explanation: they represent to me precisely those elements that I have refused to acknowledge and accept in myself.”

Ouch!! Did that hurt you as much as it did me?  I recoiled from the statement and sought to find a layer of untruth in it.  Is Brennan saying my annoyance at assumptions others make in reality an annoyance at the assumptions I’ve made?  Does he really mean when I get angry if someone is throwing their weight around and trying to control a situation I’m actually angry because I’m seeking control myself?  When I seek to exclude those who are exclusive, unloving, and unwelcoming, am I really just as exclusive, unloving, and unwelcoming to them as they are to others?  What a harsh realization to make!  Surely Brennan is mistaken on this one.

Unfortunately, it would seem Brennan has an ally in this line of thinking in the Apostle Paul.  In his letter to the church at Rome, Paul shares these words:

You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. – Romans 2:1 NLT

We judge others based only on our own understanding and assign our own self-designed motives to words and actions without pausing to consider the motivation or contributing factors to their behavior whether known or unknown.  An assumption is simply something accepted as true without any proof.  To assume we understand what another is thinking and why they act a certain way is to place ourselves in a position of knowing them often better than we know ourselves.  Such assumptions turn into presumptions when taken for granted as truth and judgments are made.  Too often we place our self in a position of judge, jury, and executioner of another and determine who they were is who they are and it is who they will always be.  In the words of Jesus, we are more concerned about the splinter in someone else’s eye rather than the log sticking out of our own.

Christ taught us the most important thing after loving God is to love our neighbor as our self.  None of us are pleased when judged and placed in a box and it certainly does not feeling very loving.  If it is so upsetting and unloving to us when dealt with based on assumptions and judgments, why are we so quick to treat others in such a manner?  In order to understand, we must learn to listen. We must remember we are all human and truly none of us are better than the other.   Whether online or face to face, we must learn to allow others the freedom to be who they are and express themselves with only one caveat . . .  that freedom ends at the point it is harmful to others.  Recently I came across a Facebook post addressing this very idea by author Steve Austin addressing why certain comments or responses were being deleted from articles he shared on social media.  Steve’s explanation was beautiful:

For the first 30 years of my life, I was steeped in toxic, exclusionary theology that was more focused on the rules and red tape of religion than the unconditional love of God.

When I woke up after a serious suicide attempt, and God whispered to my soul, “I’m not finished with you yet,” everything changed. I had researched and done everything in my power to try and end my life because I hated myself, but Love would not let me go.

Love is stubborn.

I had spent all my life in church pews and behind pulpits, striving to be “good enough” for God to tolerate me.

That’s right – “tolerate.”

I believed God loved me, but didn’t like me very much. And it’s because of the kinds of churches I was raised in and employed by.

These days, I’m investing all my energy in love-based theology that makes room for everyone. I have no more time for fear, shame, or guilt. And I won’t tolerate it on my page.

So if you bring your toxic, fear-based, shame-rooted, guilt-steeped theology onto my page and try and throw the Bible at me or anyone else in an effort to prove your point or push people out of the circle, your comment will be deleted without warning. Full stop.

I believe we are all loved and approved by a God who is WILD about us. I firmly believe that NOTHING can separate us – none of us – not me or you or the neighbor down the street (or across the globe) from the LOVE of God.

Steve goes on to say if he removes a particular comments, it’s not because he is angry.  He is simply ensuring no one feels unwelcome or threatened by another’s extremely limited view of love.  Steve’s post can be seen in it’s entirety here, but in closing I’ve chosen a few more of his words below:

Love makes room.
Love draws the circle bigger.
Love casts a wider net.
Love includes the outcast.
Love includes the rebel.
Love includes the minority.
Love includes those you don’t understand.
Love even includes your enemies.

And God is love.

Assumptions limit love, but love avoids assumptions.