Showing posts with label disagree. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disagree. Show all posts

Thursday, January 2, 2025

What Humanly Is The Hardest Thing To Do?

By Mike Edwards

Gad Saad writes that one willingness to change their mind may be the biggest challenge that people face. Why is changing our mind so hard, and how do we pursue being more openminded? I can still remember decades ago my son coming home from school and declaring evolution was a viable belief. I passionately denied based on my understanding of the Bible and Genesis. I have since admitted to him I could be wrong. It took a while for me to be more open-minded.

The Bible can be the problem for many Christians 

The Bible can’t be the definitive word about God since subject to interpretation (different scholarly views of the same passages). Besides, we can’t prove God controlled if the writers always accurately portrayed God, even if our interpretations were perfect. Biblical scholars who have a deep respect for the Bible don’t agree what God thinks about gays, women, hell, and other moral issues. Gays are condemned and women’s leadership roles are limited, despite their gifts, in God’s name. Supposedly, a fiery torturous afterlife awaits infidels! A Creator surely loves the way creatures intuitively think they ought to love. We pursue such love through common moral sense. 

Questioning one’s beliefs can be painful 

For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create doubts about other beliefs they have been taught.  Perceived certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. Unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. Anxiety is avoided by not discussing one’s beliefs with others who believe differently. 

We tend to think with our emotions rather than exploring evidence 

We often don’t change our mind because we make decisions based on our feelings than cognitions. Should we make buying decisions based on if we want it as opposed to whether we can afford it? Should we date or marry someone based only on feelings or based on their actions? In our recent election, many voted based on there feelings about a particular candidate. Without specific evidence one is Hitler incarnated or truly a Communist, I am convinced a wiser choice is to vote based on policies/cognitions I believe best for the future of my children, grandchildren, and country.

We often don’t change our mind because we avoid contrarian discussion

We often avoid discussions with those with different opinions for various reasons. The problem is the path to change often is considering opposing beliefs. It isn’t science without debate. Theologians who claim their views are God’s Word and don’t invite debate – are they afraid to defend their views in public so individuals can decide for themselves and possibly disagree. Theologians who hide behind “God said,” are claiming to be holier than those than disagree with them. Politicians who don’t invite debate – don’t trust them further than you can throw them.

Changing one’s mind requires admitting you were wrong 

Changing one’s mind in public requires humility. I am not claiming to be innocent, just stating the obvious. I trust more those who openly acknowledge when they were wrong. Trust religious leaders, politicians, or scientists who openly admit they were wrong and explain why they believed as they did initially. Many remain silent and hope you don’t notice their change in opinion.

Changing one’s mind can have consequences

Disagreeing with church leadership about God’s character can lead to isolation or being blacklisted. Thriving societies must support individuals being allowed to form their own opinions without threats when universal agreement isn’t obvious. Groupthink is just human nature. Most humans desire to integrate with a group, get along with its members, and benefit from them. Discussing opposing beliefs can be uncomfortable. The loner must fend for himself. If you leave your group, your options are limited to joining the opposing group or being alone. For most of us, neither option is appealing. Being your own person is a tough business. 

Changing one mind means embracing uncertainty 

Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Adultery isn’t only wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. Assume uncertainty if you have one rational friend who believes differently from you whether it’s about religion or politics. Those who claim certainty often are naïve and may have other internal motives. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate. Couples who claim certainty are headed toward divorce or a sucky relationship. God-followers and religious leaders seem hell-bent in telling people what they must believe about God according to their understanding and interpretation of the Bible. Politicians who refuse debate of their policies are no differentLeaders play God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming to know the truth and we can’t decide for ourselves. 

Civil discussions are critical in the pursuit of truth 

Obviously, we may also avoid disagreements because such discussions can get heated. We must control our emotions when discussing our beliefs. We must talk to others like we want to be talked to. We must stop labelling others. We often are quick to consider or call others heretics or conspiracists when differing in religion or politics. How about thinking one has a different opinion than resorting to name calling!

  • We must stop thinking our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
  • We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility, accepting that misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with our own
  • We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
  • We can defend our reasoning, respect the opinions of others, and commit to pursuit of truth

What Humanly Is The Hardest Thing To Do?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

Friday, August 9, 2024

What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?

By Mike Edwards

I written here many fears we may face in sharing certain beliefs with others. I am probably being too simplistic suggesting a main reason why we don’t discuss our differences whether it be about God or politics, but I am looking how to begin a discussion. I know many don’t venture certain discussions because of the consequences. Pastors loss their job if certain opinions about God are contrary to what their congregation believes. We have seen medical doctors’ licenses threaten with not agreeing with the Covid vaccine narrative. But I am desperate to understand why we avoid important conversations. Don’t we get closer to the truth sharing our opinions with one another?

We avoid pain by staying away from certain conversation

For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create doubts about other beliefs they have been taught.  Questioning if the Covid shots are safe in the long-run, if we have gotten the shots, can raise anxiety about our health. Perceived certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. Unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. Anxiety is avoided by not discussing one’s beliefs with others who believe differently. I imagine also many avoid certain discussions because they don’t feel able to defend their position or they prefer to avoid possible conflict generally.

I have written here how assuming certainty during uncertainty can be a relationship destroyer. Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Adultery isn’t only wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate by those in authority. Assume uncertainty if you have one rational friend who believes differently from you whether it’s about religion or politics.

Civil discussions are critical in the pursuit of truth 

Obviously, we may also avoid disagreements because such discussions can get heated. We must control our emotions when discussing our beliefs. We must talk to others like we want to be talked to. We must stop labelling others. We often are quick to consider or call others heretics or conspiracists when differing in religion or politics. How about thinking one has a different opinion than resorting to name calling!  

How can we begin having civil discussions?

  • We must stop thinking our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
  • We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility, accepting that misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with our own
  • We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
  • We can defend our reasoning, respect the opinions of others, and commit to pursuit of truth

What about those who refuse to agree to disagree?

Do Christians or God-folks always look the other way or forgive uncivility – not treating others like they want to be treated? I don’t have to accept those who demand a literal Hell is biblical at the expense of unbelievers in their journey here on earth. See here.  If one insists Hamas raping women and burning babies alive is justifiable because of perceived past disputes, I will condemn you. Jesus didn’t forgive the Pharisees before condemning their ridiculous religious laws. Open-mindedness doesn’t mean there aren’t common, universal, moral beliefs. Wisdom is required!

What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Why Can’t We Disagree About God And Religion?

By Mike Edwards

I posted last week why we can’t seem to have discussions with others about politics if have a difference of opinion. See here. There are differences in the political and religion arena, but politicians and religious folks have many similarities when it comes to disagreeing.

Is the problem about power and control? 

Some just aren’t prepared to defend their viewpoint or hearing disagreements may undermine what they have believed for a long time. They don’t seek to push their beliefs on others but many seek to influence because they assume their truth, or their interpretation of the Bible, is God’s truth. We know control and power are intoxicating and a part of human nature. Quashing dissent allows one to be more in control which happens to enable job security in the institution. 

We can’t claim our truth is God’s truth 

Religious folks hide behind their interpretation of a Book as politicians hide behind their interpretation of science. Opposing views are said to disagree with God or be immoral. But even if you believe the Bible is inspired by God, the Bible requires interpretation. We don’t all agree if the Bible opposes women priests or preachers or condemns gays. Not all scholars who believe in the inspiration of Scriptures agree that a literal Hell is a reality in the Bible.

Not even God imposes beliefs on others

One might think a God powerful enough to create may annihilate immediately those who oppose God by choosing evil. God hasn’t. God’s love in the Bible is frequently compared to that of a human parent. Why would God act any different than a loving parent? Human or spiritual parents bring children into the world hoping their children freely reciprocate their love for authentic relationships. Forced love is an oxymoron. God doesn’t seek to control beliefs through fear.

This doesn’t mean we can’t cooperate with God in intervening to make for a better world. Jesus’ good news wasn’t to believe or eventually be blown up in Hell. See here.  Jesus only sought to encourage people to shun evil and do good for self-interest and the interest of others. Belief in freedom respects challenges. Meaningful, long-lasting change isn’t reached by controlling love.

There are absolute truths of course!  

Certain absolutes are universal and obvious to all rational beings. Who doesn’t believe physical or sexual abuse is wrong? No reasonable God or non-God person doesn’t respect that we ought to treat others like we want to be treated. Criminals don’t defend their murders or thefts; instead, they deny committing such crimes. Adultery is only not wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. The Bible doesn’t make such offenses immoral. They are immoral due to our inborn sense of good and evil.

We must have rules for conflict

Continually evaluate the most loving approach is better than claiming certainty and being wrong. We must learn to respond not react over our differences. Look for areas to agree first. Both parties must seek to understand before being understood. Stop demonizing by moralizing. Handle differences with physical and verbal civility. Imagine the impact the religious could have if those who believe in God “walked the walk” when have differing opinions. God-followers must stop claiming their biblical view is morally superior among the religious or non-religious.

Why Can’t We Disagree About God And Religion?

MikeEdwardsprofilepic125

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com 

Why Are Christians So Dogmatic?

by Mike Edwards Okay, I admit more than just Christians are dogmatic. It seems many people, regardless of beliefs, are unable to discuss th...