What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?

By Mike Edwards

I written here many fears we may face in sharing certain beliefs with others. I am probably being too simplistic suggesting a main reason why we don’t discuss our differences whether it be about God or politics, but I am looking how to begin a discussion. I know many don’t venture certain discussions because of the consequences. Pastors loss their job if certain opinions about God are contrary to what their congregation believes. We have seen medical doctors’ licenses threaten with not agreeing with the Covid vaccine narrative. But I am desperate to understand why we avoid important conversations. Don’t we get closer to the truth sharing our opinions with one another?

We avoid pain by staying away from certain conversation

For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create doubts about other beliefs they have been taught.  Questioning if the Covid shots are safe in the long-run, if we have gotten the shots, can raise anxiety about our health. Perceived certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. Unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. Anxiety is avoided by not discussing one’s beliefs with others who believe differently. I imagine also many avoid certain discussions because they don’t feel able to defend their position or they prefer to avoid possible conflict generally.

I have written here how assuming certainty during uncertainty can be a relationship destroyer. Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Adultery isn’t only wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate by those in authority. Assume uncertainty if you have one rational friend who believes differently from you whether it’s about religion or politics.

Civil discussions are critical in the pursuit of truth 

Obviously, we may also avoid disagreements because such discussions can get heated. We must control our emotions when discussing our beliefs. We must talk to others like we want to be talked to. We must stop labelling others. We often are quick to consider or call others heretics or conspiracists when differing in religion or politics. How about thinking one has a different opinion than resorting to name calling!  

How can we begin having civil discussions?

• We must stop thinking our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
• We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility, accepting that misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with our own
• We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
• We can defend our reasoning, respect the opinions of others, and commit to pursuit of truth

What about those who refuse to agree to disagree?

Do Christians or God-folks always look the other way or forgive uncivility – not treating others like they want to be treated? I don’t have to accept those who demand a literal Hell is biblical at the expense of unbelievers in their journey here on earth. See here.  If one insists Hamas raping women and burning babies alive is justifiable because of perceived past disputes, I will condemn you. Jesus didn’t forgive the Pharisees before condemning their ridiculous religious laws. Open-mindedness doesn’t mean there aren’t common, universal, moral beliefs. Wisdom is required!

What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

What Should Christians Be Known For?

by Jim Gordon

Christianity is the same no matter what country we live in, but for this article, we are talking mainly about here in the United States. In this country, we have a lot of people who claim to be Christians. What does that mean and how should we be able to recognize them?

As Christians, people should be known for their love. Their goal should be to follow the example of Jesus. Those of us who claim to be Christians go about showing our faith in different ways. Many feel that if we can preach in public, be a pastor, evangelist, or missionary, they will be known as good Christian people.

Others think if they give regularly to their church, or to programs to help the poor and other social justice issues, they will be known as good Christians. Many will base their identity on their works and all the good things they do to show they are good Christians.

Unfortunately, many will put their faith in political power, trying to force their beliefs on everyone. By doing so, they think they will make the country better by making laws based on biblical law and their interpretation of Christianity.

Basically, all these things are a waste of time. First, we are saved by grace, it is a gift from God and there is nothing we can do to earn it or pay for it. Second, the only way that Jesus says we are to be known as His disciples is by the love we have for one another.

Jesus told us to believe on the one who God sent and to love others as you love yourself. When we try mixing New Testament grace with the Old Covenant law, we are getting away from the truly good news and we are not loving one another as Jesus meant.

Some Christians think that by posting the ten commandments in schools, or requiring prayer in schools, or placing religious items in public buildings, it will show their Christian beliefs and force people to think about God. Now, I am not an advocate for putting religious postings in public buildings, but if there is going to be anything, the Sermon on the Mount would be much better. Rather than forcing biblical law on an entire country, promote the fruit of the Spirit, being love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Christianity should not be anything other than loving God and loving one another. We should be following the example of Jesus and never force our religious beliefs on anyone. God gave us freedom to choose, as Christians, we should do the same.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com