Was Jesus a Christian?

by Jim Gordon

So often, when we think of Jesus we think of Christianity. Many seem to think that Jesus actually started Christianity. The fact is, Jesus did not start Christianity and he does not belong to any particular religion. He loves and accepts people no matter what they believe. He came to show the love of God to the human race, not start a new religion for people to fall in line with and follow.

The word Christian originated to describe those who were spreading the good news of Jesus. People in the city of Antioch started calling those who followed Jesus Christians because they were doing the works of Jesus and sharing the love of Jesus so much, they thought of them as little Christs.

When we use the term Christian as described above, there is certainly nothing wrong with it. Being Christ-like, loving God and loving others. Doing the works of Jesus is the true meaning of the word. Yet, if we use Christian in a sense of belonging to a particular church, following a particular doctrine or specific pastor, if it relates to a specific country or political party, then it becomes just a religion and for me, I would rather not define myself by this term.

Jesus came to show us what God was really like, a God that loves all people. God does not see Muslims, Jews, Christians or any religion. God loves all people of the world. The only way people are going to come to true fellowship with God is through Christ…not Christianity.

It is time we stop looking to the organized world of religion as our way of becoming acceptable and pleasing to God. We need to look to Christ and allow the Spirit to live through us and love those we meet each day. Stop demanding that people follow your doctrine, your rules, your beliefs. Accept people as they are, the way Jesus accepted them. Show the love of Christ to them and let God work in them through the Holy Spirit.

We are never going to completely agree with each other on doctrine and religion. Only through Christ and the love of God will we be able to share that love with others. Let us be known by the true sense of the meaning of Christian, someone who is doing the works of Jesus and who loves God and one another.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

How The Heck Do You Have A Good Marriage?

By Mike Edwards

This is a previous Post. I thought I would repost with some minor changes, to follow up my Post last week – How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

I’m no expert but one who is anxious for others to avoid my failures. I can assure you my marriage hasn’t lasted 41 years so far because I am some saint. Divorce can happen and doesn’t doom one as a failure for life. Relationships aren’t that complicated, just hard. Many marriages can succeed when both partners adhere to a few essential attitudes and actions to better relate. I am going to keep this less than a five-minute read to hopefully provoke more readings about marriage here or elsewhere if struggling. Success isn’t an exact path. We all have a chance if strive to treat our partner like a best friend!

The Right Attitude – Accepting Differences 

Good luck finding a partner that always agree. Marriage is about living happily incompatible. There are no perfect matches. Relationships often start off well because reality hasn’t set in – sharing closets, bathrooms, in-laws, children, etc. You still have in common why you began the relationship, but now you have to work out your differences. Other friendships don’t have the 24/7 challenges. Naively, I assumed in the beginning I would be happily married 100% of the time. Now, I realize being pleased 75% of the time is a pretty good marriage. Strive to treat your partner like you want to be treated when not agreeing. Marriage isn’t agreeing but learning to disagree. 

The Right Actions – Fighting Fair 

After accepting we don’t have a right to expect everything we desire, we still must solve differences to live peacefully together. When handling differences in other relationships it usually is out in public with others around eyeballing your actions. In a 24/7 relationship differences can happen more in private. There is less accountability to behave. Kids, we know the rules in solving differences – keep your hands to yourself, don’t raise your voice, stop interrupting, etc. When such rules are violated, give each other permission to stop and restart when acting more civilly. Couples who say they are no longer in love have stopped treating each other in loving ways. Happy couples expect problems and solve differences in a positive manner so solutions can be discovered. 

Identify A Specific Plan And Persist 

As you strive for the right attitude and actions – develop specific steps each can take, evaluate success in a time limited fashion, and do it all over again. Keep trying until finding what works. Judge the relationship not on feelings that depend on circumstance but judge the relationship on specific actions that can bring about desired feelings.  Couples often give up too soon because they attempt a “hit and miss” approach to their problems. Couples often argue, “they have tried everything.” Develop your own list of habits such as below:

• During conflict both ideally ask “what can I do differently” not “why can’t you”
• Assume good will of you partner unless you married the devil
• Focus on solutions than problems
• Persist unless one partner is being abusive
• Run from temptations such as drugs or affairs that can set you up for failure
• Get third party help after remaining stuck
• Try doing what you would tell your friend if they asked for advise
• Identify 2 or 1 thing you wish each would do differently once a day that is observable and you can acknowledge genuine appreciation when it happens
• Focus on you being the right person rather than your partner
• Happy couples’ ratio of encouraging than criticizing is at least 6:1

Spiritual help can be invaluable in marriage

Maybe you are just a good person without any help. Personally, I need help being the best version of myself for the sake of my partner. I need to be willing to say sorry. I need to recognize I am being selfish. I need to be willing to forgive when my partner takes responsibility for their actions. Great marriages aren’t about being good enough or not as bad as other partners. The best goal of marriage or any relationship is aiming for perfection. My view of God inspires me to pursue perfection in my relationships without being paralyzed by guilt when failing. I have the “want to” to be perfect. I believe that motivation comes from God!

John and Julie Gottman, who have researched marriage relationships for years to identify important factors that lead to success, state something so true: “Every marriage has perpetual issues – conflicts based on personality differences or lifestyle differences that never go away. Common examples include how much intimacy there should be in a marriage, as well as disagreements over money and household chores. But as longtime marriage therapists, we’ve found that partners can live peacefully with perpetual issues as long as they talk about them in a open, productive way.”

How The Heck Do You Have A Good Marriage?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

Morality Cannot be Legislated by Politics

by Jim Gordon

We Christians seem to think that we can make everything better by voting the right politicians into office and passing the right laws. We seem to think that we can actually legislate morality. We have our pet doctrines and think with the right people in office or the right laws passed, the world would be a better place.

We think if we can get the democrats out and the republicans in, or the other way around, things will improve. By posting the ten commandments on the courthouse wall, putting prayer back in school, or keeping ‘In God We Trust’ on our money, things will be better.

The trouble with this way of thinking is, it does not work. We cannot legislate “Christian” values based on what we think is morally right. First, here in the USA we have freedom of religion. This means everyone is free to practice the religion they want to follow, and no one can force their particular religion on others. Second, when trying to follow Christian principals, we are all subject to interpretations and whose to actually follow. Third, rules and laws do not change the inner person.

There is no political party that is going to make everything OK. It is useless to condemn one political party or the other when neither party is going to have the answers that makes everything better.

We get so caught up on what a political party or politician can supposedly do, yet, no human is going to come up with the answer to solve all our problems. Nothing will change until we come to realize that God is within us, and it is by the power of the Spirit that we can love others. It is the change in us that can bring change to the world.

We should be praying for our leaders, no matter which party they belong too. Although we pray for them and respect their position, we should not be placing our hope in any political party. Political parties are made up of human beings who are imperfect. Truthfully, most often they are only looking out for their political agenda and financial well-being.

We need to forget the allegiance we seem to think we need to political parties and seek first God’s Kingdom. Realize the Spirit of God lives within us and we are actually living in the Kingdom right now. Listen for the voice and guidance of the Holy Spirit, and love others no matter who they are or what they think. We are not going to change people by voting in politicians and making new laws. Only by loving people, accepting them as they are, and showing them the love of God by our actions will we make any real impact on our world.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

By Mike Edwards

Warning parents – Words of advice to your kids don’t nearly matter as much as your behaviors/actions. It determines if kids want to be like you and even if your kids like you. Good luck if you are the kind of parent that says “do as I say, not what I do.” Parenting is thousands of actions to do and avoid. It can help though to have a general plan to guide you. I will list several actions at the end to think about, but mainly I am going to suggest firm but gentle parenting is the key. I parented three kids who are now in their thirties. Looking back, I didn’t always succeed but I tried. Perfect parenting doesn’t even guarantee perfect kids, but I got lucky. You would be proud to call my kids your own.

What is firm parenting? 

Firm parenting basically is not constantly moving the bar regarding expectations. Your “no” must mean “no.” Don’t make the kids guess how to please or respect you. Good parenting looks for ways to say yes rather than no all the time, just because you are tired of the challenges of parenting. My biggest “no” was you will treat your sibling the same way I am expected to treat your Mom. That means no yelling at or putting your hands on each other when upset. If you are a parent with more than one child, you know this is an almost daily challenge when they are young. If you are saying no all the time, consider what actions you want to major on and go from there.

What is gentle parenting? 

One can be firm but gentle. If a kid is running out in the street without looking, all rules off. Yell at the top of your lungs and take action. But most misbehaviors don’t require such a reaction. Have you noticed kids are exhausting and exasperating! For some reason they don’t come into the world wanting to behave most of the time. Use a firm but not loud voice to state the expectation. If they don’t listen remove them from the scene of the crime. Spanking was not an option for me as a parent. It stifled creative discipline that is more effective. No, my kids didn’t end up in prison. 

Lots of other actions 

The challenges of parenting is unbelievable. You have to monitor screen time, you have to monitor that snacks aren’t the main meal, you have to be concerned how kids these days are treating one another when no one is looking, etc. Here are a few personal parenting actions I think can help:

• Put the marriage first over the kids. Do stuff with your partner alone and communicate in words your partner is your first commitment. Kids will benefit in the long-run. I sucked at this!
• Be present in the moment and not distracted. Kids are boring when younger. Quite thinking what you aren’t getting done and be with them.
• False praise isn’t good but unexpressed gratitude toward the kids is the same as ingratitude
• Spanking is not necessary as stifles creative discipline that is more effective
• Pick your battles when appropriate to say “no” and mean it. Now that you are an adult, “what do you wish your parents had said ‘no’ to and minor on the rest? Stop changing the goalposts
• Discipline doesn’t always have to be immediate. You might come up with a better idea later. Let the kid wonder
• Knows the stages of parenting. See here.
• Insist the siblings treat one another like they want to be treated. NO bullying in this house either between mom and dad or siblings
• Controlling love is an oxymoron. As they get older (age debatable), kids need to be allowed to make their own decisions and suffer the consequences if necessary. Give choices and let them follow their own dreams not the parent’s dreams
• One last personal thing men – when we dated we tended to hold doors including the car, and other actions that conveyed love. I wish I had never stop holding the car door despite children. I am back in the habit for years unless hot as hell in the car and the wife wish I get the AC going first before they get in. The wife doesn’t always love this new habit, but I ain’t changing
• Want more suggestions? See here.

Oh yea, this is a spiritual blog! 

One can be a great parent despite not believing in God or have a relationship with God. No excuses! I am bias. God’s influence in my life has made me a better husband, parent, and friend. I am convinced God loves me the same way I desire deep down to be known for loving others and my children. I have written before how and what a relationship with God is like – What Is The Greatest Advantage Believing In God If So Inclined? Consider all the human and spiritual help you need to be the very best parent you can be.

How The Heck Do You Parent Well?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com 

Simple Acts of Kindness Can Make a Difference

by Michael Donahoe

In a day when tempers seem to flare more often and people seem to be less kind to others, it does not take much to make a difference in the life of someone you meet.

We hear on the news and social media the acts of rage, discrimination, meanness, lack of respect and overall disregard for other human beings.

We have racial discrimination, exclusion of the LGBTQ family, gender discrimination, and on and on it goes. Yet underneath all the labels are human beings who are loved by God and are to be loved by us.

My feeling is, no matter what you think is right or wrong, whichever way you choose to live your life, there is no reason to treat others with judgment and condemnation and there is no reason to force your way of living on others. Being respectful, kind and accepting of others does not mean we always agree. We can treat others with kindness and as equals and still stick with our individual beliefs.

Being nice to people can change their attitude and outlook for the day. Giving others a smile, respect, doing a simple act of kindness can touch someone who is frustrated, depressed or just losing hope in the whole human race.

Rather than always being against someone or trying to force your views and way of life on others, put aside your personal beliefs when it comes to others and treat them with kindness and respect. To me that is following the example of Jesus and a way of encouraging a fellow human being who can then pass it along to others.

——-

Michael Donahoe was added as a writer as his views fit perfectly with those of Done with Religion. He also writes on Substack at https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

What Is Jesus Really Advising On The Sermon On The Mount?

By Mike Edwards

Non-church goers may have never heard of Jesus’ most popular sermon (Matthew 5-7). I was listening to a sermon on this familiar passage by a very reasonable, respected pastor. I thought as I listened how some individuals may come away disheartened that God isn’t empathetic toward their circumstances. Sometimes passages need to be nuanced to explain how certain advice may not be applicable to their situation. We have to discern when Jesus was using hyperbole for emphasis without stating exceptions.

 ²² But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. 

• Jesus wasn’t condemning all kinds of anger, or why then would Jesus call out religious hypocrites – “you blind fools” (Mt 23:17)? Sounds angry to me! Not all anger is the same. There is righteous anger. I would preach anger in general can get us in trouble, but there are always individual circumstances where God is mad as Hell as you are. Discern if your angry is what Jesus is addressing.

²³ “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

• It is hard to be right with God if not right with others if reconciliation is possible and you know you are clearly in the wrong. But Jesus certainly didn’t always seek out the Pharisees to smooth things over. This passage may be encouraging us to reconcile with those that we know we have sinned against. We should try to make it right. If someone has sinned against you, that is on them. Be open to reconciliation if they approach you and seem sincere.

²⁷ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’^[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

• No contextual or interpretation problems here. Adultery and other sins have a beginning – often beginning in the heart or mind. Find a way to shut it down. It is never worth it!

³⁹ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. ⁴¹ If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

• I think speakers should always clarify they aren’t advocating women stay silent at the abusive hands of men or other abusive situations. Jesus surely is advising not responding evil with evil, not that one can’t protect themselves. The context is “not an eye for an eye.” In war if the enemy rapes and beheads, don’t respond in the same way. But, evil is real and may require protection and killing. I think Jesus was trying to get people to look for ways to change hearts in certain situations. Seek justice when appropriate not revenge.

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor^[i] and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

• Preachers often bring up what Jesus said on the Cross – “God forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.” Maybe Jesus’ persecutors didn’t know that Jesus was really who He claimed to be. Still, I admit if I was Jesus I would have hopped off the Cross and kicked their ass with miraculous powers. Does a father who sexually abuses his child not know what they are doing? We mustn’t speak as if every situation is the same!

What is Jesus’ message to you?

Honestly, I don’t know what God would advise in your situation. Try to be open to God’s influence. One may not seek reconciliation with a friend who refuses to admit any wrongdoing. Cutting them off could lead to better reflection. The Apostle Paul in one situation said “Expel the wicked person from your perspective” (I Cor 5:1-13). Isolation can bring one to their moral senses. Every situation is different. Read the Bible to discern for yourselves, perhaps with the help of friends, what the application is in your difficult circumstances. Consider how to go the extra mile. Consider what actions might possibly lead to reconciliation or change in hearts if others open.

What Is Jesus Really Advising On The Sermon On The Mount?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com 

Social Media - It Can Cause Much Hatred

by Michael Donahoe

I have watched with displeasure at times the discussions and comments on Social Media. This is a common way of communication these days and it is very easy to be bold and argumentative while using it. We express our thoughts and feelings in a much meaner way than we would if we were face to face.

I think most people find that sitting in front of a computer screen gives a sense of boldness and openness to express themselves in ways that are not always a good thing. I think there is something about not being in the presence of someone or seeing their facial expressions that emboldens us and allows our mean side to come out.

To me it is the same feeling you can get when you get behind the wheel of a car. All of a sudden we seem to be in attack mode. We blow our horn at others, yell and curse and flip people off, yet if we walked by them on the street we would probably smile and say hello.

There is something about face to face communication that usually changes the way we talk to and treat others. Face to face communication seems to take away the meanness we usually find with social media communication. Looking someone in the face, being in their presence seems to soften the way we talk and respond.

Why is it we cannot see the human being behind the computer screen? Why is it we feel the meanness, and an emboldened power to treat others with contempt? Remember Jesus said to love not only those who love you, but to love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.

There is nothing wrong with social media and communicating through it. Just keep in mind that there is another human being on the other end, and even though we are not in their physical presence the things we say and the way we react has an impact on them. Let us make it a point to have a positive, encouraging impact when we communicate with others.

The way of Jesus is the way of love. Whether it be online or in person we are to love our neighbors. In our world today living in love is becoming rare. Yet by doing so, it will be noticed and it will make a difference in the lives of those who are hurting and so desperately looking for love and acceptance from their fellow human beings.

——-

Michael Donahoe was added as a writer as his views fit perfectly with those of Done with Religion. He also writes on Substack at https://personalmeanderings.substack.com/

Why Do We Censor Different Opinions Than Ours?

By Mike Edwards

I assume most are aware of efforts to censor or quash contrary opinions. In the Religion arena, the word Heretic is thrown around against those who don’t agree that God condemns gays, that men are leaders of women in the marriage relationship, that Hell is a fiery, tortuous destiny, etc. Do their accusers not understand the Bible is ancient literature subject to interpretation, and biblical scholars don’t agree. The same actions have become more obvious in the political/science arena. People with contrary opinions to certain policies are called racists, conspirators, or misinformers. We must challenge those who censor as oppose to winning the debate in the public arena.

Acknowledging freedom and uncertainty are critical to leading us forward 

Freedom of ideas are what separate democratic societies from dictatorships. Freedom is often quashed because individuals claim certainty in their beliefs. Christians leaders condemn gays in God’s name because the Bible says so, and demands others believe as they do. They don’t consider they may be wrong. See here.  Climate experts don’t agree with the narrative concerning climate change. Claiming certainty rather than defending one’s position is not how a democracy works. One must have the freedom to make their own decisions when there is uncertainty. Religion and science are playing God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming they know the truth and we are too stupid to decide for ourselves!

The benign reason for censorship is one believes they are right for the good of all 

It doesn’t matter if you think you are right and doing what is best for the good of the land. Certainty is an illusion unless taking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Try claiming certainty in your personal relationships. If married you are probably headed toward divorce. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate by those in authority. One must have the freedom to decide what is the best decision for themselves, or the powerful rule the powerless.

The nefarious reason why others censor others 

One may not oppose censoring activities for fear losing security (their livelihood) because they disagree with the popular, uncertain narrative. In politics differing with the popular opinion might not lead to reelection. Pastors risk being kicked out of the pulpit. It is morally wrong to shut down disagreement. I am convinced racism is evil (that blacks are an inferior race), but I must be open to debating those who disagree. I like my chances of winning the argument with others.

One though may actively censor the opinions of others for control and power over others. Control and power can have financial benefits. Losing the argument in the public arena may lead to loss of power or position. Control and power flourish when others are not allowed to discuss alternative opinions in the public arena. One way to judge one’s motive is by demanding answers as to why refusing debate. If one is sure they are right for the good of all, why fear convincing others? It was questioned if the Covid shots stopped infection and transmission, so to not enforce mandates. Turns out they were right. Supposed truth-tellers insisted on protecting grandma. They were wrong. Truth must win in the arena of debate so one has freedom of choice in the land of uncertainty.

Actions

• If many disagree with your opinion, be openminded. Consider why you are afraid to defend your belief if you supposedly know the “truth”
• It is more important to protect one’s freedom to choose when the possibility exist you could be wrong

• If church leadership calls those who disagree with their view of God heretics, challenge them or leave. They can’t even prove God exist. This is a personal, freedom decision

• If politicians support censorship or label those who disagree with them as misinformers, vote them out. Why believe their view if they can’t defend their views for the supposed good of the world?

• When we stop censoring or labeling others as heretics or conspiracists, we may come to a decision best for the good of most

Why Do We Censor Different Opinions Than Ours?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com

Going to church or Not – We are All in Christ

by Jim Gordon

We know when the word church is used most of the time we are talking about the modern-day, organized religious organization that people attend on Saturday or Sunday. The traditional organized church with its many programs, leaders, pastors, rules and regulations.

People attend church for various reasons such as out of obligation, guilt, social purposes or because they have always gone to church. Yet, many people attend church because they love being around other believers, they love worship and they enjoy participating. The thing to remember is whether we go or not has nothing to do with being a follower of Jesus.

We forget that the Church is not a building or an institution but a community of people who love God and love one another. Whether in a church building or out of the organization, we are all one body with Christ as the head.

I think an issue today among many of us who have left the organized church is that we feel those who are still involved in church and those who think differently than us are wrong. Often times we even seem to be enemies. This is absolutely wrong and not the correct way of thinking.

Sometimes those of us outside of church start thinking we are further along in our walk with God than those who still attend church. This is a bad attitude to have. We should be loving and accepting of those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ no matter if they attend church or not. Just as those who faithfully attend church should not look down on those who have left the organized system, looking at them as if they are backsliders or have lost their faith. God will lead each of us by the Spirit in the way we are to live.

The important thing is our love for God and for one another. No matter what we do on Sunday mornings, whether we attend a church building or love God from outside the walls, our goal is to decrease to self, our desires and plans, and allow God to increase and love others through us.

Jim Gordon and his wife left the institutional church after spending over fifty years within the system. Jim wanted a way to express his thoughts and concerns about the religious system and why he and his wife decided to leave the institution but not their faith in God. Jim can be contacted by email at: jimgordon731@gmail.com

Why Can’t We Discuss Our Political, Science, Or Religious Differences?

By Mike Edwards

Our world seems so divided. Christians often label others heretics if they don’t believe there is a literal Hell or that God doesn’t condemns gays. Hardly a conversation starter. Science seems to have followed in Religion’s footsteps. Those who question if Covid shots are as safe and effective as claimed are labeled anti-vaxers, though they may have gotten the flu vaccine for years. In politics opponents are labeled a racist or conspiracist without proof. If you avoid discussions when others aren’t acting irrational, I would love to hear your thoughts as to why. My email is at the end.

Why Christians may suck at discussing differences

I will use myself as an example unfortunately. It’s not meant to be an excuse. I believed decades ago that God condemned gays though they could no more control their attractions than straights. I was wrong. See here.  I used to believe God sent those who didn’t have the right kind of faith while here on earth to a fiery, torturous afterlife. I was wrong. See here.  I am convinced the only reason I believed as I did was because of my understanding of the Bible. How could I be devoted to God if I didn’t follow the Bible’s teachings? Christians may not listen to different beliefs because they assume their interpretation or a biblical writer’s understanding of God is right. Stay openminded!

How we discuss our opinions is important 

We often are busy thinking we are right and preparing our response than listening. There are obvious reasons to avoid discussions with certain people. It is difficult to talk to others if they don’t control their emotions or convey they are right and you are wrong. We can’t have discussions with those who are rude or close-minded. But disagreements are normal in relationships. We can’t always prove what we believe is true about God. We can’t claim without debate if Covid shots or all the childhood vaccines are as safe as claimed. We can’t claim without debate if our climate control measures are best for the most human flourishing. But there may be deeper reasons why we avoid discussions with those who have different beliefs.

Societal influences can discourage discussion

News or information outlets one listen’s to may only report one viewpoint for whatever reason and imply other views are conspiracy. It is best to be aware of both sides of a different belief to decide for yourself. Church leadership often imply contra views to their own are heresy. Threats of being excommunicated, censored by authorities, or losing your job are real. The solution is for all to be free to discussion opinions openly without threats. If you know the “truth,” why be afraid to defend your view!

Most humans desire to integrate with a group, get along with its members, and benefit from them. The loner must fend for themselves. Both disagreeing with the perceived popular science narrative or disagreeing with church leadership about God’s character can lead to isolation or being ostracized.  Being your own person is a tough business. Thriving societies must support individuals being allowed to form their own opinions when universal agreement isn’t obvious. Misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with your own. You may end up being wrong!

The fear of uncertainty can discourage discussion

Certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. One may believe what seems to be the popular narrative because unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. One can avoid anxiety by not discussing their beliefs with others who believe differently. I imagine most Leaders prefer being seen as knowing (certain) than not knowing (uncertain). For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create anxiety about what other beliefs may be in question. Questioning if the Covid shots are as safe and effective if we have gotten the shots, can raised anxiety about our health. What if we pushed others to get the shots and we end up wrong? There may be an easy out. We sometimes trust those in authority, but we may come to realize such trust was misplaced.

What are the consequences of avoiding uncertainty?

The science often changes with further investigation. Many religious beliefs are subject to interpretation of a Book. That is why there are thousands of denominations with their own creeds. Certainty, not uncertainty, can lead others astray if one is wrong. Also, when only one side is presented, control and power grow intentionally or unintentionally. It should be intuitive denying diverse opinions is unloving and controlling. Most don’t except such behaviors in their personal relationships. A refusal to openly discuss or defend one’s views is a denial of personal choice and suggests an unhealthy dependency on “certainty.” Relax! Universal truths exist. What religion denies the main thing – to love and treat others like you want to be treated.

There can be nefarious reasons for preventing discussions 

The most benign explanation for censoring the opinions of others is not necessarily the fear of losing power as much as the fear of losing security (one’s livelihood). In my counseling career, I often questioned the narrative concerning psychotropic medications. A client is owed a discussion of both the risks and benefits of such an intervention for mental healthiness. I didn’t always share my opinion with psychiatrists in charge. I don’t fear conflict. But I am sure I feared potential loss of a job because I was in the minority and low on the totem pole. In politics differing with the perceived popular opinion might not lead to reelection. Pastors risk being kicked out of the pulpit.

The more evil explanation for censoring the opinions of others is one’s desire for control and power over others. Control and power also have financial benefits. Control and power flourish when others are not allowed to discuss alternative opinions in the public arena. Many may fear liability if they admit they are wrong and participated in thwarting discussion. One way to judge one’s motive is by demanding answers as to why one is refusing debate. If you are so sure you are right, why do you fear convincing others? Religion and science are playing God (Superior) in the lives of others by claiming they know the truth and we are too stupid to decide for ourselves!

What is truth?

Openminded people accept they may be wrong. We are more likely to be right when there seems to be almost universal agreement on the topic of concern. Most don’t defend rape, or physical or sexual abuse. Adultery isn’t wrong only in the eyes of the betrayer. But rational people do not agree on matters such as immigration policies, climate policies, marijuana legalization, if God condemns gays, if God inspired all of the Bible, etc. We must be willing to defend our views among one another rather than shut down those we disagree with. Those fortunate enough to live in a democratic society must accept the vote of the majority when comes to law setting. You can still defend your position in hopes of a future vote. May the best, most common-sense position win.

Love surely is the path forward to healthy discussions and debates 

My co-blogger rightly suggest love is the path forward. See here. We can strive to be the better person in conversation. But we have every right to oppose those who refuse to accept uncertainty and fight fairly. This can be done civilly but lack of freedom of speech is important for future generations. Leaders must be held accountable to be open-minded than certain. In our personal lives, we can try to engage with those who insist on certainty when it doesn’t exist but in time one may need to move on. We can stop labeling those who disagree with our biblical interpretations as heretics. We can stop calling those who disagree with our views of science or politics as conspiracists. Imagine how different as a people we would be if religious, science, and political folks talked openly for the common goal of pursing the greater good!

Why Can’t We Discuss Our Political, Science, Or Religious Differences?

Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like  He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com