Forever Recovering

by Rocky Glenn

This week marks the three year anniversary of my blogged Confessions.  When I began sharing my thoughts in 2016, I had no plan, imagination, or notion I would still be doing so three years later or any clue all of the twists, turns, bumps, hills, and surprises which lay ahead.  I never truly intended to take the path I have now followed and never imagined I would oppose and disagree with so much I once held dear.  I labeled myself a churchboy as the most accurate description of the life I lived and was leaving behind: a life of performance, a life of striving to achieve a standard often unspoken yet expected, a life of constantly comparing myself to others to ensure my efforts exceeded any they may put forth to please God.  The churchboy moniker was not intended to identify one who attends church, to me it was simply a name to identify what I had become . . . a modern day religious expert concerned more with complying to rules and traditions rather than living with a humble and loving heart.   Last year at this time, I took time to expound on my definition in What Is A Churchboy?  This year I want to take a look at a different part of the blog title.

I’ve often heard those who have overcome addictions refer to themselves as a recovering addict.  Even when interviewed after they’ve been clean or sober for twenty, thirty years or even longer, many still use the term.  Per the definition above from Merriam-Webster, recovering is being in the process of overcoming a disorder or shortcoming.  Does this mean they are still fighting the sames urges, battles, and temptations just as strongly as they once were?  Is it indicative of a lack of growth or progress in their battle to put their demons behind them?  Quite the contrary.  They are not living in a defeated or pessimistic state of mind.  It’s a point of humility, a reminder of who they once were, where they came from, the hills they’ve climbed and the valleys they’ve walked.  It keeps the awareness alive in their mind of the possibility of slipping back into addiction and serves as a connecting point to others battling the same addictions which once held them captive.  The term recovering sums up in a word the oft quoted phrase, “There but for the grace of God goes I.”

Being a recovering churchboy is a similar journey.  Having been set free from a prison of religion, it’s easy to slip back into “religious” habits as the pendulum swings to the opposite extreme of what I once believed.  If someone doesn’t value the freedom I’ve found but instead chooses to criticize, condemn, or attack these new-found freedoms and beliefs, the churchboy inside would seek to condemn them and lash out at them for being wrong and not truly understanding the gospel.  As one who is now willing to admit vast uncertainty about many issues I once claimed absolute certainty on, I bristle when encountering others who remind me of my former self.  It’s not always easy to avoid being just as harsh and critical as before of those displaying the same close-minded, smug, self-righteous attitude I once carried.  Once again, the churchboy inside seeks to commend himself for now being more acceptable, more open, and more loving than he once was all the while refusing to be accepting, open, and loving with those who disagree with him.  The long held churchboy tendencies to only associate with those who share similar beliefs and exclude all who disagree seek to rise to the surface but as one podcast host shared recently, “Exclusive inclusiveness is still exclusiveness.”

No one who has overcome an addiction desires to ever again become enslaved to the addiction which once held them captive.  To lessen the likelihood of this happening, it often requires a complete change of life which could include anything from new hobbies or friends to help pass the time all the way to relocating to a new city.  Likewise, I have no desire to return to the holier than thou, judgmental life of a churchboy.   The key to overcoming the churchboy life also requires change.  Our change comes through repentance.  Repentance is a word thrown in Christian circles quite often to imply a time of great sorrow and remorse accompanied with tears and confession of shortcomings and sins committed.  To define it in such a manner is short sighted and inaccurate.  According to Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, it means a change of mind and according to Strong’s definition it means a reversal of one’s decision.  For churchboys to recover it requires a change of mind to understand the Father’s unconditional love which exists regardless of anything the churchboy may or may not do.  According to Paul, the sole reason for God’s kindness was to bring us to that change of mind.  Our decisions are reversed when we stop striving to meet God’s standards through our accomplishments and squash the comparisons of others to ourselves.  True peace comes in realizing if God has offered me his love and kindness with no requirements and no strings attached, he has done the same for everyone.  Waking up to this knowledge should truly allow us to love our neighbor as ourselves just as God loves us which fully embraces the idea of recovering.

I am beyond grateful for the freedom I have discovered in God’s love and for the ability to share the journey over these last three years.  Do I have everything figured out?  No!  Am I confident what I now believe is what I will always believe?  No!  Is it okay to live with uncertainty and live a life of perfect imperfection secure in God’s love?  Absolutely!

Thank for you taking the time to share the past three years with me and I look forward to sharing many more with you.  I will forever be a recovering churchboy.

https://donewithreligion.com/2019/03/29/forever-recovering/

Why Are Christians So Judgmental?

by Mike Edwards

One would think Christians wouldn’t be judgmental. After all, we are guided by the principle of loving others as we want to be loved. Jesus certainly didn’t seem judgmental. He hung out with all kinds of people who didn’t necessarily have His same beliefs. Jesus did get His dander up with religious folks because they were misrepresenting God. We may be doing God a favor if Christians questioned their own leadership and stop trying to force their beliefs on the rest of the world. I am not suggesting we shouldn’t stand up when children are abused, women are violated. That requires judging. It should though not be in our nature to unload on others because their beliefs aren’t ours.

Spoiler Alert – One’s view of the Bible may be one main reason Christians are so judgmental.

Some Christians may be judgmental as a defense mechanism.

Christians are only human. I can’t quite explain it but it does seem those most judgmental may be a way to prevent looking in the mirror and judging themselves for unloving behaviors. I suppose some play offense to avoid playing defense and looking inwardly. The is something one can only answer for themselves if they noticed being so judgmental despite being a God-follower.

Are Christians judgmental because of examples of Leadership?  

Catholics, Methodists, Etc. establish creeds that are implied one should believe in. Try challenging the doctrines and see where that gets you! One creed may be Jesus came to forgive our sins. Theologians don’t agree if the Cross was to influence a lifestyle toward love or pay a price for God’s sake. So, God never did or couldn’t forgive sins until Jesus died? If God was so concerned about beliefs such as the Trinity, Angels, the Bible, Judgment, the Virgin Mary, wouldn’t there be more agreement what all these creeds. If Religions only had the Creed of Love, maybe Christians would be more united and less judgmental.

It gets worse how Christians judge!

Doctrine differences are one thing because only those who grew up in church care about those matters. Christians though condemn same-sex relationships, women are denied equal or authoritative roles as men, and it is said only Christians can go to heaven so all other religions can go to Hell. Good people often only condemn same-sex relationships because they are convinced a Book inspired by God condemns them. Biblical scholars who respect Scriptures don’t all agree the Bible condemns same-sex relationships. Shouldn’t we take the less judgmental stance toward others since we could be wrong?

Would you naturally assume if not for a Book:

God condemns gays

God prohibits women from serving as pastors or priests

God encourages wives being submissive to husbands differently than husbands to their wives

God judges based on religion when the religion the majority adhere to depends where born

Every view above is debated among biblical scholars. We can listen to what God’s Spirit is telling us also or at least have an open-discussion rather than hide behind a Book like terrorists do! I am convinced this would lead to Christians being less judging.

https://donewithreligion.com/2019/03/25/why-are-christians-so-judgmental/

Healing Divisions within Christianity

by Jim Gordon

It is sad that Christianity is divided into so many different groups. We all have a little different interpretation of the bible and a little different understanding of doctrine. Obviously we are not going to agree on everything, but we certainly should be able to love one another and accept each other even when we differ on these things.

It is hard to understand why this happens when God tells us we are to be one as Jesus and the Father are one. Yet, we understand that we are human and it is easy to lose sight of our first love. If we could only stay focused on Christ, listening for his voice and the guidance of the Spirit, loving God and loving others as God intended, then we could look past our differences and accept one another.

The problem seems to be that we are unwilling to see any other viewpoint other than our own. There are those such as my wife and I that do not attend an organized church. There are those who attend a church every time the doors are open. Some attend a house church, some meet with fellow believers at cafe’s, parks or restaurants and others meet in their homes over dinner. We should accept these differences and love one another rather than argue over who is right and who is wrong.

There really is not a right or wrong way to assemble together and we need to stop expecting everyone to do things exactly the same way. We should respect others views and focus on loving them rather than expecting them to see things our way.

Things will not change until we start focusing on what is common in our lives rather than the differences. The common focus should be on Christ, the head of the body. After that we should focus on loving others rather than arguing about the differences in interpretation.

We also need to keep in mind that we are all constantly changing as God brings new truth to us. We are all learning and changing as we are ready to accept new truths. The interpretations I had five years ago are completely different from some of the interpretations I have now. I am sure in another five years they will change again as God leads me into more truth.

Sometimes we are afraid to accept others interpretations because we feel if we do not hold to our way of thinking we are compromising and not standing up for what we believe. We do not have to give up how we interpret the bible, but neither should we think everyone else is wrong. Besides, we really are not responsible for convicting people of sin,  leading them into truth or even saving them. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. We are told to love God and love others.

When we realize we are each equally important functioning parts of the body, and Christ is the head, we can start to change how we feel about those who do not see things exactly the way we do. We can begin to accept our brothers and sisters in Christ just as they are as we realize we are walking as one together with God.

The Bible Requires Interpretation – Let’s Be Less Dogmatic!

by Mike Edwards

It doesn’t matter if you believe the biblical writers/editors didn’t always understood God perfectly, or whether you believe God inspired every word of the Bible. Literature requires interpretation of a writer’s meaning and application to personal circumstances. The greatest sin among Bible people may be the sin of biblical certainty.  Scholars who respect the authority of Scriptures don’t agree on major concerns. Some believe the Bible teaches God elects certain people to go to heaven while damning others; others believe the Bible teaches God eventually saves all to enter Heaven and the traditional understanding of Hell isn’t biblical.

Does the Bible really declare some are in danger of going to a fiery pit such as Hell after death?

If such a place exists why did Paul, who wrote the majority of the New Testament, never once warn this dire fate? Why didn’t Noah who had to warn of tragic consequences for evil inform people at least once of the danger of Hell? It is questioned by scholars whether there is any Hebrew or Greek word translated as Hell that pictures what our word Hell suggests.

Does the Bible really teach that God proclaims leadership roles are based on gender than gifts?

When the Bible says: “Women should remain silent in the churches” (I Cor. 14:34), maybe the writer would encourage men to be silent in certain situations for the sake of peace. Why did the Apostle Paul say practically in the same breath that women could prophesy just like men during worship (I Cor. 11:5)? Is prophecy not speaking?

Does the Bible really teach God condemns monogamous gay relationships?

It is not natural to think a loving God condemns gays who can no more choose who they have feelings for then straights can. Scholars who respect the authority of Scriptures don’t agree God condemns same-sex relationships which don’t violate anyone’s rights. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel natural to you. You aren’t gay! How we think we ought to treat gays is how God thinks about gays. Take the more loving road? Don’t push people away from God when you could be wrong.

Does the Bible really say that God is coming again to destroy the word in the future?

Why did Jesus tell his audience that supposed predictions about the world ending would happen in their lifetime: “Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass way until all these things have happened” (Mt. 24:34)?” If Jesus is coming again down from the sky why did the disciples ask Jesus: “what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age” (Mt. 24:3)? Only non-visible, spiritual comings are missed.

Does the Bible really teach God only lets certain people get into Heaven?

Why does the Bible say: “For as in Adam all died, so in Christ all will be made alive” (I Cor. 15:22)? That would only exclude those who have never died, but last chance I checked all have or will die. The Bible clearly teaches forgiveness is unlimited (i.e. Mt. 18:21-22), but is that not true of God? Might there be second chances after death where one wishes to spend eternity?

I can’t claim because the Bible says so but personally, I am convinced Hell doesn’t exist; God wants women to pursue any role their gifts allow; God doesn’t condemn gays; God isn’t going to destroy the world; and we don’t know if there may be second chances after death when one meets their Creator and all misconceptions are done away with.

When our views of God are stumbling blocks for others, let’s admit we could be wrong. Let God work in the hearts of individuals to reveal what God is really like!

What? We are on a Podcast?

I was recently asked to participate on a podcast telling a little about my experience with religion and the institutional church.

Religion Free Ministry contacted me and said they would like to do a brief interview and I gladly accepted.

It was an interesting experience but went smoothly and was easy to do. It is not long but gives an idea of where I came from and why I left the church system.

It is listed on the Jesus Unfiltered Podcast entitled Done with Religion?

If you are interested in listening sometime, you can hear the podcast at the following link:

http://www.religionfreeministry.com/008-done-with-religion-unity-and-living-outside-institutional-religion-feat-jim-gordon/

Just Be Yourself

by Jim Gordon

It seems we hear a lot about change and becoming a better person in the way we live and believe. We often hear from some christian people about judgment and condemnation of others because they do not live the way they think the bible says.

I think it is time we accept people for who they are beginning with ourselves. We need to remember that we are all made in the image of God. The bible says God saw all that he had made and it was good!

Rather than judge someone and tell them they need to change, why not do what Jesus said to do. Love God and love one another. We do not always agree but it is not up to us to tell people what they need to do or how they should live. Accept one another for who they are.

Rather than worry about what everyone else thinks just be yourself, accept yourself. Do not let anyone say you do not matter or make you feel like you need to be someone you are not.

You are not a mistake. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God created you and loves you just as you are.

Of course, we all want to better ourselves in this life but as far as the real you, whether gay or straight, white or black, male or female we are unconditionally loved and accepted by God.

There are a good many of his followers out there that feel the same way. Ignore those who judge and condemn, they will only bring you down. Move on and seek out those who will love you with the unconditional love of God and who will accept you just as you are.

How Do We Know When God Speaks Or Guides Us?

by Mike Edwards

It isn’t always easy to believe in an invisible God; it isn’t always easy to know how an inaudible God is speaking or guiding us. If God was more visible or audible, wouldn’t our spiritual journey be easier? Jesus established a 24-7 relationship with twelve men and they struggled to believe everything that came out of Jesus’ mouth. Today, God’s awing or overpowering presence may only lead to fearful obligations to obey. I am convinced the road traveled of learning and reflecting better leads to lasting convictions. Maybe God speaks to us in non-dramatic ways out of love!

We are right to look for God’s direction through God’s spirit.

It is reasonable to imagine that since God is invisible that God’s Spirit resides in us and somehow guides us. There is rightly an emphasis in Christian circles that God guides up by their Spirit as opposed to the Bible (i.e. Holy Spirit). When Jesus was leaving this earth, He said the Spirit not some Book such as the Bible guides us in truth (Jn. 14:16-17; 16:13). How do we discern such guidance?

We have more freedom than we realize if God truly created genuine freedom.

We often seek God’s voice in important decisions such as career or marriage. It is natural to think an all-knowing, powerful God has special insights into future outcomes to avoid problems, but creating freedom requires an undetermined future. To say God knows the future suggests a predetermined future which makes freedom nonsensical. God can’t tell you if the person you want to marry won’t end up betraying you or the job you take won’t end up being phased out. God is in life with us. We are free to make our own decisions while being open to the Spirit’s influence to act in the best interest of not just ourselves but others.

Doesn’t God mainly guide through influence?

The example a parent sets, than direct commands, is often how best to guide children to make wise decisions. Doesn’t the Spirit mostly speak through influencing? We know the Spirit’s influence when we have thoughts to be the perfect partner, parent, or friend we desire to be deep down despite our constant failures. We know the Spirit’s influence when we recognize violence begets violence and respond non-violently. We know the Spirit’s influence when we have wronged someone, we quickly confess and make amends. That just isn’t always natural. All we have to do is being open to the Spirit’s influence.

Isn’t the Spirit’s voice only human impressions or thoughts so we can never be certain?

I mentioned Jesus left this earth saying we would be guided by God’s Spirit in discerning Truth (Jn. 16:13). Jesus didn’t seem overly concern that Truth requires discernment. Jesus didn’t spell out what those specific Truths are. Which decision to make depends on individual circumstances. What may be best for one person about their marriage may not be best for another person. Relax, there is practically universal agreement on most moral matters. Criminals don’t defend their murderous actions; they deny they committed such actions. Certainty when it comes to politics or God has only led to justifying verbal or physical violence in the name of God or morality. Keep an open mind to what God is like!

Dwelling within the Presence of God

by Dennis Wade, Guest Blogger 

I loved the article by Jose Bosque, ‘12 Steps toFreedom from the Religious System’ and wish that everyone could have an opportunity to read it.

As a child I had a very strong sense of dwelling within the presence of God. I knew that He was always with me, and the only reason I ever sought to be alone with Him was so that I could hear Him better, without the distraction of other people. I needed no special place to be in His presence, as He was always with me.

It was only later when I began to attend church that I began to feel a separation between myself and God, for all of the reasons mentioned in this article. I can honestly say that it was there in church that I “learned” all of the false lies about not being good enough for God, about having to appease Him by having the “correct doctrines”, and that I was only in the presence of God when I was within that building.

There are many more lies and untruths that I learned there, and they all worked to eventually lead me to the mistaken idea that there was no place anymore for God in my life.

I spent many years trying to live without God, because I thought that “living with God” meant having to return to church.

But I could never escape that “Indwelling Presence”, and God continued to work in my life to restore my sense of His being with me.

Finally, through the teachings of a few modern theologians and teachers who were themselves liberated from the narrow confines of “Churchianity”, I have been restored to an even deeper sense of dwelling in His presence.

It is correct to say that when we have a true relationship with the Indwelling Christ every moment becomes sacred and spiritual, and every action becomes an action of worship and service!

Avoiding Assumptions

by Rocky Glenn

As I sat down to write this week I had many false starts and failed attempts as I began to tear into the keys of my laptop fed up with infuriating examples I’ve observed of assumptions and presumptions of folks so assured and self confident of being correct in whatever cause, debate, or argument in which they are currently embroiled.  From social issues such as the latest decision by the United Methodist Church to everyday issues in the workplace, there is nothing more off-putting than encountering the smug attitude of another who is more concerned of being right than treating others right.  For several days I have pondered and meditated how best to combat the self-centered “looking out for number one” mentality which seems to fuel those who not only insist their way of thinking is the right and only way of thinking but also subscribe to the delusion it is their responsibility to insist everyone not following their line of thought is in error and must be corrected.  I realized simply writing a few paragraphs lashing out and spouting how wrong they are and how right I am would do nothing other than add just another pointing finger of judgment and would be furthering the problem at hand.

If you follow my writings at all, it will come as no surprise my favorite author is Brennan Manning.  For the last five years I have annually worked my way through Reflections for Ragamuffins, a collection of his writings formatted as daily devotionals.  It is not unusual for the same writing to speak to me every year as I read it and I normally discover this as I have often caught myself off guard when I go to share a quote, excerpt, or screenshot via social media only to find I had previously shared the identical idea in years past.  This past Wednesday was one of those encounters only this time there was a slight exception.  Being aware of what I was intending to write about this week one of Brennan’s statements leaped off the page at me as never before like a mirror held to my face:

“My struggle to cope with certain people has a simple explanation: they represent to me precisely those elements that I have refused to acknowledge and accept in myself.”

Ouch!! Did that hurt you as much as it did me?  I recoiled from the statement and sought to find a layer of untruth in it.  Is Brennan saying my annoyance at assumptions others make in reality an annoyance at the assumptions I’ve made?  Does he really mean when I get angry if someone is throwing their weight around and trying to control a situation I’m actually angry because I’m seeking control myself?  When I seek to exclude those who are exclusive, unloving, and unwelcoming, am I really just as exclusive, unloving, and unwelcoming to them as they are to others?  What a harsh realization to make!  Surely Brennan is mistaken on this one.

Unfortunately, it would seem Brennan has an ally in this line of thinking in the Apostle Paul.  In his letter to the church at Rome, Paul shares these words:

You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. – Romans 2:1 NLT

We judge others based only on our own understanding and assign our own self-designed motives to words and actions without pausing to consider the motivation or contributing factors to their behavior whether known or unknown.  An assumption is simply something accepted as true without any proof.  To assume we understand what another is thinking and why they act a certain way is to place ourselves in a position of knowing them often better than we know ourselves.  Such assumptions turn into presumptions when taken for granted as truth and judgments are made.  Too often we place our self in a position of judge, jury, and executioner of another and determine who they were is who they are and it is who they will always be.  In the words of Jesus, we are more concerned about the splinter in someone else’s eye rather than the log sticking out of our own.

Christ taught us the most important thing after loving God is to love our neighbor as our self.  None of us are pleased when judged and placed in a box and it certainly does not feeling very loving.  If it is so upsetting and unloving to us when dealt with based on assumptions and judgments, why are we so quick to treat others in such a manner?  In order to understand, we must learn to listen. We must remember we are all human and truly none of us are better than the other.   Whether online or face to face, we must learn to allow others the freedom to be who they are and express themselves with only one caveat . . .  that freedom ends at the point it is harmful to others.  Recently I came across a Facebook post addressing this very idea by author Steve Austin addressing why certain comments or responses were being deleted from articles he shared on social media.  Steve’s explanation was beautiful:

For the first 30 years of my life, I was steeped in toxic, exclusionary theology that was more focused on the rules and red tape of religion than the unconditional love of God.

When I woke up after a serious suicide attempt, and God whispered to my soul, “I’m not finished with you yet,” everything changed. I had researched and done everything in my power to try and end my life because I hated myself, but Love would not let me go.

Love is stubborn.

I had spent all my life in church pews and behind pulpits, striving to be “good enough” for God to tolerate me.

That’s right – “tolerate.”

I believed God loved me, but didn’t like me very much. And it’s because of the kinds of churches I was raised in and employed by.

These days, I’m investing all my energy in love-based theology that makes room for everyone. I have no more time for fear, shame, or guilt. And I won’t tolerate it on my page.

So if you bring your toxic, fear-based, shame-rooted, guilt-steeped theology onto my page and try and throw the Bible at me or anyone else in an effort to prove your point or push people out of the circle, your comment will be deleted without warning. Full stop.

I believe we are all loved and approved by a God who is WILD about us. I firmly believe that NOTHING can separate us – none of us – not me or you or the neighbor down the street (or across the globe) from the LOVE of God.

Steve goes on to say if he removes a particular comments, it’s not because he is angry.  He is simply ensuring no one feels unwelcome or threatened by another’s extremely limited view of love.  Steve’s post can be seen in it’s entirety here, but in closing I’ve chosen a few more of his words below:

Love makes room.
Love draws the circle bigger.
Love casts a wider net.
Love includes the outcast.
Love includes the rebel.
Love includes the minority.
Love includes those you don’t understand.
Love even includes your enemies.

And God is love.

Assumptions limit love, but love avoids assumptions.

Two Ways of Life

by Jim Gordon

Galatians 3:10-13: For as many as are of the works of the Law are under a curse for it is written, cursed is everyone who does not abide by all things written in the book of the law to perform them. Now that no one is justified by the Law before God is evident for, the righteous man shall live by faith. However, the Law is not of faith, on the contrary, he who practices them shall live by them. Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law having become a curse for us, for it is written cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree.

One of the major issues we Christians have is living in two worlds. Not only the spiritual world and the earthly world, but the Old Covenant and New Covenant world. Michael Kapler points out this difference clearly in his book ‘Clash of the Covenants“. The problem with the Old Covenant is that if we do not live by and obey all things written in the Law we are living under a curse.

The Law was given as a tutor and guide to show us that we were unable to restore our fellowship with the Father. We cannot live a life acceptable to God by doing good works or putting forth effort on our part. Righteousness does not come through the Law, and if it did then Christ died needlessly. Jesus came into this world born under the Law. He lived and taught it for the first 33 years of His life. When He died Jesus  fulfilled the Old Covenant the Old Covenant came to an end. When He rose from the grave the New Covenant began.

By accepting the grace He provided we can live in fellowship with God. Christ lives in us and we are holy and righteous in His sight. The Law is no longer needed for those saved by grace. We are free, Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law. We now live under the New Covenant which is a free gift provided to us by Christ.

We are now living in the Kingdom of God. We now live loving God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind and loving others as ourselves. No more work or effort on our part, no obligation to do certain things. We are free from the Law and restored to fellowship with God.